


It Has a Pattern

by ThisPeep



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, Emotional Manipulation, Established Relationship, Felix | Isaac Gates Being a Dick, M/M, Party Games, Questionable Fashion Choices, Squishing Multiple Seasons Into One Groupified Time Period, Trans Characters, don't worry there WILL be cishet representation too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-01-11 09:09:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18427466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisPeep/pseuds/ThisPeep
Summary: Felix is an average college student guy with an average college student partner and average college student friends. Probably. There may be more knives and psychopathy and sex in his story than the average college student one, and the amount of manipulation and life-changing events may be above average as well.His grades, though. Those are definitely average. So at least there's that.





	1. Party Games

So Felix was a little bit of a loose cannon. He had been a hell of a lot worse, by all accounts, before a fateful meeting with a certain tight-lipped man who had performed the assumed insurmountable task of quelling the bastard. A quelled Felix had brought him down to the level of loose cannon, and most of the time that level sat comfortably at fun.

How he had managed to not get kicked out of college yet was something of a general mystery, but one that was quickly assumed solved by those who spent time around him. He had the slight tendency to ace tests even with a murder of a hangover, and also to flirt with teachers.

Much to the chagrin his envious roommate. Felix chalked up Tucker’s sorrow to the fact men who didn’t have kids were just decidedly hotter than those who did, regardless of how much the kid was in the man’s life, and also the obvious fact that Feliz was just plain old hotter than Tucker. By so very much. Poor Tucker.

“It’s still bull you have a B in the class. He docks students like two percent per unexcused day missed, after the first three.” He only complained so much because he had to deal with the inferiority in some way. 

Felix shrugged, feet up on the coffee table. “Get lip injections, then maybe you’ll be able to entice middle aged men as well as I do.”

Tucker wrinkled his nose. “My lips are not the issue.”

“You’re right. It’s your everything else.”

“Hey, Felix? Fuck off.”

Felix could do that. He hopped up, pulling out his cell phone to shoot Locus a text and skimming over his messages. “Church isn’t going to York’s thing tonight. Something about Caboose being out of order.”

“What, so he’s staying back to take care of him? Are they dating now?”

Feliz looked away from his phone. “Were they not already dating?”

“I... don’t think so?”

Silence hung in the air for a few seconds before Felix’s phone let out a breathy sigh, and Felix returned his attention to it.

Tucker turned his attention to the kitchen, specifically the stack of dishes it was his turn to clean, because he had gotten used to hearing Locus’s custom text alerts. Plus, the less he reacted to things, the less likely Felix was to up the ante on them. That had been a good lesson to learn fast.

“Good news: fucking off is happening!”

“You’re still going tonight though, right? If you leave me stranded with the fucking excel kids —“

“Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, you know me!”

Which was precisely why Tucker narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Felix.

“I totally will, if Locus feels like pampering me.”

“Asshole.”

“It’s not like it’ll be just the excels there.”

“They’ll be the majority!”

“Will they?”

“They’ll feel like the majority. They have the fucking presence of a crowd. Each.”

“Except York.”

Tucker nodded. “Except York.” He echoed.

“Alright, bye bitch.” Felix declared, and ignored Tucker’s grumble about loyalty as he picked up his jacket and bounced out the door.

Locus, like a dick, didn’t live in the same complex that Felix did. His was mega close to the school, because he had early classes, and it was some sort of learning-focused building that had quiet hours that started early and didn’t even slightly smell of weed in the hallways. 

It still was only about a twenty minute walk though, and considering the college buses had no consistent time table, Felix usually just suffered through the boring twaddle there with his only savior being headphones and Spotify.

He texted his arrival instead of declaring it with a knock, and got a responding text that Locus would be a minute. A passing girl’s reaction to the alert sound set Felix grinning, and he still was when the door opened.

Locus, as always, walked back away from the door without giving a greeting. Felix slipped in and kicked it shut behind him, laying his jacket over the back of a chair. “Where’s Mouse and Sadist?”

“I told Doyle you were coming and Grey is at study group.”

“Aw. I was hoping he’d be here.”

“Which is why I warned him.”

Really, Locus acted like Felix picking on Doyle was going to be enough to make the man pack up and move out, leaving Locus in need of another body to pay rent. Doyle absolutely didn’t have the balls to do something that dramatic. “Lame.”

Locus sat down on the couch, picking up his notebook again. Felix trundled over before leaning over the back of the couch, arms sliding over Locus’ shoulders and hands resting on his chest. “York’s having a party tonight.”

“Excel party?”

“Not strictly. Wash invited Tucker who invited me.” And also Church, but since he wasn’t going, who cared?

“Caboose?”

“No, thank god.”

“Then yes.”

Felix grinned, pushing Locus’ dreadlocks out of the way before he placed a kiss on Locus’ neck. “It’s gonna be lame as hell.” 

“You’re welcome.”

“There’s a few hours before we should leave.”

“Cook, then.”

Felix pulled away with an eye roll. “Am I going to get yelled at again for stealing your roommates' stuff?”

“Everything’s labeled.”

“Oh?” Felix opened the fridge and it was, indeed. Little printed out labels, probably from a machine. “Did they buy a label maker just because of me?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever is just made with just my things.”

“You’re boring, babe.”

Locus didn’t answer, and that was fine because Felix got distracted by there being smoked salmon and cream cheese, and he knew Locus had sushi rice because he’d made Locus buy some last time he went out, which meant one of his many favorite foods was totally possible.

While the rice cooked he bothered Locus, who accepted it because he knew Felix would be kept busy making rice balls once the timer went off. Besides, most of Felix’s pestering was kissing and talking about ideas he had to terrify Doyle that he totally thought Grey might go in for, so it really wasn’t that bad. When Felix pushed for more, Locus reminded him of the rice, and therefore was spared sulking.

When dinner was all made and Locus took a bite, he didn’t say anything about the cucumber Felix had added even though there was only one cucumber in the fridge and it’s label had been Donald Doyle. There was only a little cucumber in them, which meant that Felix hadn’t stolen that much. Picking battles was a very necessary part of interacting with Felix.

“You’re gonna change before the party, right?”

Locus raised an eyebrow. “No.” 

But the eyebrow meant that it was more of a ‘I wasn’t planning to, and am curious to why you think I should’ so Felix clicked his tongue. “Everyone ramps it up a little for that crowd. You’ll look out of place.”

Locus frowned.

“I’m gonna get changed too. Even Tucker will.”

Locus took another bite thoughtfully.

“I will find someone else’s lap to sit in throughout the night if you don’t look hot enough.”

Locus swallowed, then reached for another rice ball and Felix grinned in victory.

“When’s the dental appointment?”

“Tuesday after next.”

“You look ridiculous.”

“So you’ve said. But imagine me being able to actually bite you with these puppies.” His tongue ran over one of the teeth in question — small fangs that were tryouts to make sure he liked the size and fit before he got the permanent ones done. 

“Do you want to pick my outfit?” The discussion wouldn’t go anywhere new, and Locus wasn’t genuinely offended by the fangs. They were small enough it didn’t actually look completely ridiculous, and they did suit Felix. So a subject change was easier.

“Oh hell yeah.”

While Locus washed up — if you didn’t help cook you had to clean was a rule of Locus’ apartment — Felix went through his wardrobe and cabinet to find the perfect clothes. Locus was thankfully pretty decent at shopping for himself, and it was hard for anything to look bad on someone like Locus anyway, so there were many good choices. In the end, Felix ended up going for what he personally favored over what might suit the party the best.

“From one T-shirt to another.”

“That T-shirt is nicer quality. And looks better on you.” The green was the same color as some of the flecks in Locus’ eyes, and it matched well with the black pants Felix had chosen, and besides Locus shouldn’t question his opinion when he offered to let Felix pick in the first place.

Felix watched as Locus changed, whistling when he was done, and then gestured him over for Felix to pull back some of his locs into a hair-tie. 

“Congrats, you’re fuckable.”

“As though you ever find me not.”

Felix stuck out his tongue, and they chatted primarily one-sidedly on the walk to Felix’s townhouse.

“So you are going.” Tucker greeted, when they stepped inside.

“We could just be here to have loud sex into the night. You’re not wearing that to York’s.”

“You would have waited until I left. Why not?”

Tucker had changed, but into a tank top. Locus leaned against the kitchen counter, refusing to place himself in between the two by sitting on the couch.

“Dude, you spruced down. Put on a real shirt.”

“I paid thousands of dollars to be able to wear a tank top. I’m going to wear a tank top.”

Felix scowled. “I fetched you enough things post-surgery to have the right to declare you embarrassing yourself by using your newfound tank top access at a party where everyone’s going to look hot.”

“What are you going to wear then, bitch?”

“A mesh shirt. Infinitely more classy.”

Locus raised a hand to his forehead but said nothing.

“We’re not arriving together.” Tucker declared.

“I really don’t care. Just change your top.” Felix swanned up the stairs in a dramatic flourish and left Tucker alone with Locus.

“Is he really going to wear a mesh shirt?”

“Undoubtedly.”

Tucker sighed. “Try to keep him reigned in during the party. He’s acting extra energetic tonight and it’s your job to deal with that.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Cool.” Tucker paused. “I’m gonna go change my shirt.”

Locus nodded, and he walked over the settle on the couch after Tucker turned to go upstairs.

Felix did, not long later, swan down wearing a mesh shirt, and his normal tongue piercing had been switched out to the tiny hand flipping the bird Felix loved for the extra flair it gave when he stuck his tongue out at someone petulantly. 

Tucker was newly overly formal in a button-up tee, and Felix sighed.

“What now?” Tucker was standing, itching to leave.

“You look like you’re headed to a wedding reception.” Felix looked over Tucker disapprovingly as he leant back against Locus, who wrapped an arm around his middle.

“It has a pattern. It’s casual. I’m not changing again.”

“Whatever.” Although Felix was clearly a little annoyed his advice went unheeded, he was in one of his extremely rare moods where he didn’t actively want to argue with people. He pulled away from Locus and was released out into the world, followed by his two long-suffering backup dancers.

The bus was late, even according to the app that supposedly tracked it in real time, and Felix was the only one who sat down for the ride, pawing at Locus in the meantime. Locus ignored him, Tucker texted, and they eventually arrived.

“Church might be coming after all.” Tucker announced as they disembarked, and Felix hopped over the final step off the bus to swipe the phone from his hand. “Hey! Privacy, dude.”

The texts were boring but did confirm Church was considering joining, for the reason of Caboose having fallen asleep. Felix texted back for Tucker, kindly, saying that Church should leave his boyfriend alone and come kick it with the cool kids for a night. 

Church responded only that Caboose wasn’t his boyfriend. 

Felix tossed Tucker’s phone back to him before opening up the door to York’s house. “Says they’re not dating.”

“Told you so.”

“If you believe him, that is.”

“I believe him. Have you met Church? He’d brag about dating someone. Rub it in my face.”

“Didn’t it take you like a year to hear about the chick he used to be engaged to?”

Tucker frowned, and Felix disappeared into the crowd -- one that was probably more numerous than York had intended, but that was hardly any of their problem.

Mostly it was the standard time of finding people to chat to who didn’t bore with small talk, dancing with strangers, and undoubtedly bothering the excel kids by breathing too inefficiently or whatever. They were all fucking testy. York and Wash were definitely the most tolerable though, with Georgia up there too. Not that Felix actually saw Georgia.

He hunted for any excel he could stand, and ran into Washington first. Who was, vindicatingly, teasing Tucker about his shirt.

Tucker groaned at the sight of Felix. “We get it, I’m a basic bitch. It’s too late to change now.”

“You could go shirtless, you know.” Felix pointed out. “Show off the power of medical insurance and working a full time job on top of schoolwork.”

Tucker hooked a finger in Felix’s shirt and snapped it. “Just because you enjoy showing off your nipples doesn’t mean everyone does.”

Felix said, “You’re just insecure about their perkiness.” at the same time Wash said, “I don’t want to know about either of your nipples.”

So Felix then stuck his fuck you tongue out, and Wash blinked like he was buffering at the piercing. 

“My nipples are perfectly perky.” Wash wrinkled his nose at Felix’s smug declaration. “Anyway, where the fuck is Georgia?”

He then threw his hands up in a radical display of human emotion. “Fuck if I know! No one will tell me what happened to him.”

“Woah, something _happened_ to him?” Tucker interjected, and both he and Felix looked at Wash expectantly. 

“Apparently.” Wash grumbled. “He just straight up vanished. South and Carolina have been super tight-lipped about it, so they know something.”

Tucker took a noisy slurp of his beer. Felix seconded the sentiment by doing the same thing.

“Yeah.” Wash said, and then he did his own loud sip in solidarity. “Hey, is your creepy second half here tonight?”

“Yeppers. Probably threatening a baby at this exact moment.” Felix replied.

“I refuse to believe he speaks in long enough sentences to be able to threaten.” Tucker retorted, which made Wash crack a grin.

“I can imagine him just looking at a baby and going, ‘Death soon.’ with malice in his eyes.”

Tucker’s “Exactly!” was interrupted by a deep voice going, “Toddlers are more fun to threaten.” and Wash tensed up as Felix grinned.

“We could have been talking about Maine.”

“Maine is mute.” Locus replied.

Felix’s eyebrows stitched together. “I thought he was just super dedicated to being stoic.”

“I just thought he was a bigot.” Tucker supplied, and three pairs of eyes settled on him plainly. “Don’t fucking look at me like that. Wash always talks about Maine’s opinions, I thought he just didn’t speak around me specifically.”

“He knows sign language.” Wash said.

“Oh.”

“Wait what the fuck, I do too.” Felix looked indignant. “I could have been chatting up tall, big, and large this whole time?”

“Shit.” 

Locus chucked lowly at Wash’s stricken expression.

“What?” Felix elbowed Locus. “What am I missing?”

“Wash knew you know sign.”

Which meant he probably had told Maine, and Maine had decided to purposefully not talk to him. “Asshole. Did he tell you not to tell me he knew sign?”

There was a long pause filled with the white noise of the party and more specifically, Tucker’s mostly held back laughter.

“...No?”

Tucker lost it as Felix crossed his arms, and Wash eyed Locus with the distinct impression he was worried that he was about to get decked. Locus just patted Felix’s head demeaningly. “Not everyone will want to be your friend.” He said softly, and Felix slapped his hand away.

“Fuck off.” Then also kicked his shin, to no reaction.

“What happened to Georgia’s shit?” Tucker asked.

“What?” Wash buffer blinked again.

Locus looked over to Felix who waved off the implied question. It was about to get answered.

“Like when he disappeared, did all his shit disappear at the same like he packed up and fucked off, or was it all left for someone else to deal with like he got murdered?”

“I don’t know.” Wash tilted his head. “South could tell you, if she would.”

“I thought North and South lived together.” Felix was clearly out of the loop.

“What? No. Who’d want to live with their twin, when you finally got the choice not to?”

“I thought they were dating.” Tucker was also out of the loop, apparently, so Felix didn’t feel as put out. Locus probably was also not in the loop, but he didn’t expose it by speaking.

“What is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t know they were twins! They don’t even look alike enough to be normal siblings! I thought they were in some weird codependent relationship, North is crazy possessive.”

“He’s… yeah.” Wash didn’t have an argument against that. “But I promise you they are strictly siblings.”

“Does that mean South is single?” Tucker’s voice was very nonchalant. 

“If you want to brave North’s protective fury.”

“Oh, right. Fuck that. You excel freaks are insane.”

Wash didn’t take offense, just shrugged and turned to Felix, whatever he was about to say stopping in his throat as he glanced down to his chest and then to Locus. “You know Felix’s shirt is see through.”

“Yes.” Locus replied.

“Okay.” Wash took a sip of his beer. “So you want everyone seeing what your hands are doing?”

One of the hands in question slid up Felix’s chest more to spread his fingers over to front of Felix’s throat, hiking up the hem of the shirt against the crook of his elbow. “Yes.”

Felix leaned back against Locus, maintaining eye contact with Wash comfortably.

“Great.” Wash said, then left without another word.

“You two are fucking weird.” Tucker said.

“You can’t say that while we’re surrounded by the excel kids. Have some perspective.”

Tucker made eye contact with Locus and then with Felix. “Yeah, I can. That’s because of how fucking weird you are. You’d fit in at the excel program if you had any discipline.” 

“Oh yeah?” Felix brought up a hand to gesture haphazardly behind himself at Locus. “Then why isn’t Locus in it?”

“I was offered a place.”

Felix twisted in his hold so fast that his shirt left a faint carpet burn on Locus’ arm. His “What the fuck?” was matched by Tucker’s. “I didn’t fucking know that.”

“I said no. It happened before you started harassing me.”

Felix pouted, but when he turned back around to press his back against Locus again, it was a slow slide of fabric against skin. “No wonder I didn’t have to argue you into coming. These are your people. Which means even your people think you’re a creeper.”

“These are not my people.”

“If you say some gushy shit about Felix being your people, I am going to throw up.”

Locus stared at Tucker. Felix also stared at Tucker. 

Tucker clicked his tongue. “Okay good.”

“I thought you were going to say some edgy shit about not having any people, personally.” Felix said.

Locus tilted his head. “Along those lines.”

“Ha. You’re so predictable.”

Then Tucker tried to turn the conversation to small talk by mentioning music and just like that, Felix pulled Locus’ hands out from under his shirt and walked off again.

It didn’t take that long for the party to die down a fair amount, between people getting kicked out for trying to have sex and people get kicked out for getting too drunk. Plus people being warded off by the shrinking ratio of excel students to normal students.

By the time it hit one, everyone was contained in the living room and it was all Excel with the exception of Felix’s entourage. And Church, who had turned up at some point that Felix had not bothered to notice, and was still around when things slipped low. He looked at Felix’s feet on Tucker’s lap and snorted, and Felix sent him a wink.

Felix tried to force his attention back to the conversation that was petering around, blah blah blah opinions on movies blah, but gave up and announced, “This is super boring! We should do something stupid. And fun.”

“Some people would consider those two things mutually exclusive.” Carolina said, and she got a stuck out tongue for her troubles as well but was too far away to really get the full affect.

Someone threw out “Never have I ever?” but multiple people all chimed in with a refusal, because multiple people were fundamentally unable to win that game given they’d done way too many stupid things in their lives. Felix was one of them.

“Let’s play truth or dare.” Washington suggested.

“Let’s not.” Carolina cut back, but nobody else joined in with rejection. And one person was not enough to dismiss a party game.

Carolina got up to fill up her cup with whiskey before she sat back down. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Felix grabbed something light and threw it at Washington, discovering it had been a red solo cup when it bounced off of him harmlessly and landed on the ground. “Truth or dare.”

“Oh my god.” He seemed to already regret his suggestion, which was wise. “I don’t trust you with either of those. You specifically.”

“You chose this.” Carolina reminded, taking a large mouthful of her drink.

“Can we all agree that you can’t dare someone to have sex with anyone?”

“How about you can opt out of what you got dared or truthed to do, but the asker gets to slap you across the face if you do!” South shouted, and everyone grinned.

“You guys are violent.” Wash said. 

“Truth or dare, Wash!” Felix’s grin was still present. 

Wash hesitated. “Truth.”

Which he should have known better, because everyone’s scared of dares but it’s the truths that really get you if they’re in the hands of someone good. Felix rested his chin on his palm, looking at Wash through his lashes. “Do you wanna fuck Locus?”

All eyes turned to Washington -- including, for the first time since they sat down, Locus’.

Wash opened his mouth and then closed it. Asking for a slap would be as good as admitting it.

“I don’t… not want to.”

It was almost imperceptive, which is why Felix was delighted he was close enough to see, but Locus’ eyebrows raised. 

“Knew it.” Felix splayed across on the couch, successfully placing himself in Locus’ lap without giving up Tucker’s as a footrest. “Your turn.”

A surprising amount of thought was spent on Washington’s choice, given the time it took him to select. It was long enough that Felix got bored and started playing with Locus hair as a distraction, but that wasn’t necessarily saying that much, really.

“York.”

“Dare. I don’t need my wet dreams spilled, man.”

“That is an awful visual.” For someone who was so opposed to playing, Carolina sure had a lot to add.

But also, she was right. The phrasing was terrible. 

York laughed. 

“Buy me a pizza.”

“Oh you bitch.” But voice still held his chuckle. “I’m not trying to get slapped. What you want?”

“I didn’t think you’d let me choose.”

“You’re right! You didn’t specify! You’re getting plain cheese, my friend.”

“Can’t believe you wasted a perfectly good dare like that, Wash.” Tucker shook his head.

“No repeats, right?” Wash looked around at large to confirming nods. 

Felix threw an arm over his eyes. “We can’t find out who else wants to fuck Locus. This is a tragedy.”

“I’m pretty sure no one else wants to.” Church was looking over York’s shoulder, and gave a thumbs up to confirm when the pizza had been ordered. “He ordered a plain cheese and a bbq chicken.”

“I’m hungry, and if I’m playing a delivery fee anyway…” York shrugged. He looked over his shoulder at Church. “You. Truth or dare.”

“Truth. You’re not making me move.”

“What is your name?”

Church scowled as Felix and Tucker howled their amusement. Washington let out a huff he wasn’t able to hide, and Church’s glare settled on Washington. 

“I’m Church. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, buddy. Your turn.”

“I’m aware. Hey, Carolina!”

“Dare.”

“Don’t interrupt me.”

“Dare.”

“Hey, fuck you.”

“As sharp-tongued as ever.”

“Double fuck you.”

“Stalling.” Tucker called.

“What?”

“You’re stalling, bitch! Just own up to the fact you can’t come up with shit that fast.”

“I change my mind. Fuck everyone at this party.”

“Including Locus?” Felix called, and then he was on the receiving end of a thrown red solo cup. 

He reached up and placed a hand on the nape of Locus’ neck to tug him down into a kiss, but Locus didn’t budge at the pull and just looked down at him judgmentally. Felix pouted. Locus looked back up to everyone else again.

Felix pouted more, not that anyone was looking.

“I dare you to say ‘I am a pretty girl who likes bows in my hair and being chased by all the boys.’”

“I am a pretty girl who likes bows in my hair and being chased by all the boys.” Carolina said in a monotone voice, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“That was so much lamer than it was in my head.”

Tucker rolled his eyes. “Yeah, dude, that was so much lamer than your head could even imagine.” 

“Connie.”

Washington tensed, as well as Connie, and Felix wished he had popcorn.

Connie rolled it over in her head. Dare would probably be some sort of physical competition with Carolina, which Connie would lose and feel embarrassed. Truth meant some sort of embarrassing question, which would make Connie feel embarrassed. At least the latter was shorter. “Truth.”

“What’s your number, again?”

Felix and Locus exchanged a glance, and Church looked over to them after with an air of confusion. Felix shrugged.

“You know there’s no ranking beyond the top ten, Carolina.”

“Oh, right, my bad.” She shrugged. “Guess I wasted my turn, then.” 

Wash looked like he was hyping himself up to start yelling at Carolina, which would absolutely kill the vibe of the party, so Felix reached out and tugged him closer -- getting a surprised yelp in response -- before pressing their lips together unemotionally.

Wash jumped back. “What.”

“Just doing some reconnaissance for potential threesomes.” Felix smiled pleasantly. 

Wash scooted back over to his previous spot on the floor. Well, near it, a little further away from Felix than he had been before. Locus placed a hand under Felix’s shirt, resting against his side to show approval, clearly having noticed Felix’s intent to diffuse.

“Sorry for the interruption, Connie. Go ahead.” It was a little bit too simpering to not alert Felix’s crowd, but the rest of the people there didn’t notice.

Connie looked a little confused but just turned to Tucker. “Tucker, right?”

“So you know what to moan later.” He winked.

“Oh Jesus Christ.” 

Felix and Church snickered. No one else did. Some people sighed.

“Truth or dare, pervert.” 

“Dare, baby.”

“You really don’t know how to interact with women, do you?” Felix nudged Tucker with his foot.

“Says you! You’re gay! Why do you think you know shit?”

“First of all, I am bisexual. Second of all, I am loved equally by all genders.”

“Equally low amounts.” Tucker grumbled.

“But equally!”

“I dare you to not hit on anyone for the rest of the night.”

“Oh holy shit!” Church yelled. “Why have none of us ever thought of that before?”

Tucker looked crushed, and Felix was nearly crying with laughter. Locus’ hand moved back out from under his shirt while he shook, and a small cheer raised from all the present women, other than Connie. So, both of the other women.

“Just not smart enough, clearly.” Connie looked pleased with herself, and Carolina shot her a look that Felix did not care enough to contemplate.

“Smells like women’s rights.” York commented, earning himself a shoulder hit from South.

Tucker dared Locus to speak train-of-thought style for a minute, which also turned out to be much more bland than anticipated so Church got to tease him vengefully for it. Locus ended up passing on slapping South when she refused to answer how often her brother got in the way of her trying to become close with someone, and then pizza arrived and there was a break as Wash and York got themselves their food and settled back down. 

Connie took the break as an opportunity to leave, and Church did as well. Church also convinced Tucker to walk back with him, given he wasn’t able to hit on any girls the rest of the night anyway.

They decided to continue despite the depleted number -- Felix pointed out that now they were all tired as well as buzzed, plus there were less people to be embarrassed to, so way more fun stuff could happen. 

“Felix, truth or dare.” South said, stealing a slice of Washington’s pizza unhindered.

His voice was detachedly confident. “Truth. We all know I take dares outside of the game.” Felix could be persuaded to do a lot under the threat of ‘do it or you’re lame,’ which was a fact Locus had unfortunately grown to learn well.

South brought her hands up folded under her chin sweetly. “What is the mushiest thing Locus has ever told you?”

Felix sat up, face splitting with a wide grin. “Well--”

Locus leaned over and whispered the word ‘gift’ into Felix’s ear, and Felix paused. Locus, out of everyone’s view, scratched his nails against Felix’s spine hard.

Felix hummed thoughtfully, glancing back towards Locus. Locus didn’t offer anything else. Felix turned back to South, and his smile was pacifying. “Slap.”

“Really?” Wash asked around a mouthful of pizza. 

“Really.” 

South stood up. “Works for me.” She walked over to Felix, drawing her hand back and delivering a solid slap against the side of his face with a cupped hand that made a noise like a gunshot. Felix’s head was snapped to the side.

Wash, York, and Carolina all stared at Felix with trepidation. 

“Damn, girl.” Felix brought up a hand to the side of his face, turning back to face South while he gently rubbed at the red spot. “If you’re not doing anything later…”

“I am.” South walked back to her chair and primly sat back down in it.

“Boo. York!”

“Truth.”

There were no terribly pressing secrets Felix wanted to expose from York. “Where do you get the money to throw all the parties?”

“Cocaine.” 

It startled South into saying, “What the fuck?” 

York giggled. “Kidding, kidding. People actually tend to bring stuff and pay for me when we go out, so they only put me out a little bit of cash overall.”

“That’s so much less interesting than cocaine.” Felix whined.

“Sorry.” York gave a small helpless shrug. “I don’t even know where I would get cocaine to sell. I’d probably ask you, honestly.”

“Wow, hey! I do not take hard drugs.”

“Hard being the operative word.” Wash said.

“Insert sex joke here.” Felix ran his tongue over his top lip flatly, feeling Locus shift against him. Which was, in fact, basically Locus’ version of laughing, so Felix settled down smugly.

“Hey, Wash. Truth or dare.”

“Dare. No repeats, remember.”

“Pay me back for the pizza.”

Felix cupped his mouth. “Weak.”

Wash took out ten dollars from his wallet and tossed it at York.

“What about delivery cost and the tip?”

“You just said the pizza. I would have given you extra if you’d let me order pepperoni.” 

“Karma.” Carolina said, and Felix nodded.

“Karma.” He echoed.

Wash turned to South. “Truth or dare.”

“Truth. I’m keeping my money, thanks.”

“Is Georgia’s stuff still in his room?” There wasn’t a facade at pretending it was casual, Wash said it seriously.

South and Carolina shared a look. “Slap.” She said.

“No.”

“What?”

“No.” He stood up. “What the fuck happened to Georgia?”

Felix was sitting up, watching raptly. 

“Leave it alone, Wash.” Carolina.

“Why?” He rounded on her, and York shot up to hold a hand out between the two of them. “Did something go wrong? Is he injured? Did he just leave? Why does it even matter so much?”

“Why is it your business what happened to Georgia? You weren’t his friend.” 

“Guys, c’mon, we’re all tired and tipsy maybe we should just save this for another time.” York tried to pacify while Wash raised his voice to speak over him, “I just want to know! This program is already weird enough I don’t need secrets being kept from me!”

Felix thought back to his popcorn wish. One of Locus’ arms had snaked around him, not tensed, but Locus was unmistakably alert.

“He died, alright?” South threw out, and Wash took a step back.

Convincing everyone to continue had been the best choice Felix had made in a long time.

“What happened?”

“Jesus, Washington.” Carolina stood up, pulling South up with her. “It was an accident. He was training and something was slippery and he fell and broke his neck. Happy?”

“And the Chairman is covering it up?”

South spun on her heel and left without another word, door slamming closed behind her. York sighed and sat back down.

Felix tried to stay still, worried that any movement may draw the attention needed to remember that he and Locus were still there which would undoubtedly get them kicked out.

“He just doesn’t want the press getting ahold of it. You know there’s going to be enough eyes on us soon enough.”

Washington shook his head. “That’s not right.”

“It’s not your place to complain about it. Or to upset South.”

“Is that why she’s been--”

“Yes, asshole.”

Washington ran a hand through his hair. “I guess apologizing will just be rubbing dirt in the wound?”

“Yeah.” Carolina picked up her jacket, sliding it on. “Maybe just leave her alone for a while.”

“Yeah.”

“And maybe leave me alone, too.”

Washington nodded. “Sure.”

“Goodnight, York.”

York moved his hand from his forehead, where it had been workably cemented for the end of the argument. “Night, Carolina.”

Washington fell down into a chair. “I’m an idiot.”

“Everyone is, sometimes.”

“Yeah.”

Felix clapped his hands together, making Wash and York both jump. “We’re gonna go. And not tell anyone about what we heard, yes for real, understanding it’s very serious, probably the threat of legal repercussions if the press gets ahold of it, no need for a lecture.” He hopped up, and Locus rose with him.

“Sorry for your loss.” Locus said, seemingly to both York and Wash. They both made some small movement of acknowledgement. 

“Felix.” Wash said, as Felix and Locus were walking off.

Felix glanced back.

“Seriously. Just let it lie.”

Felix tossed up a peace sign. “Not to speak neutrally of the dead, but I really don’t care. No skin off my nose to keep quiet about it. And Wash, regardless of how much everyone else hates you, you’re welcome to kick it at our place.”

Wash shook his head again. “Thanks, Felix.”

“No prob. Night York! Solid party!”

York closed and then opened his eyes bewilderedly. “Thanks.”

“Yep!” Felix let the door fall shut behind him, sliding his hand into Locus’. “Holy shit.”

“Accurate.”

“What the actual fuck is going on in the excel program?”

Locus raised his shoulders slowly before letting them fall, and silence stuck to them as they walked back to Felix’s townhouse. Felix called out softly to see if Tucker had ended up back there when they arrived, but got no response. He didn’t think he would -- it had looked like Tucker was going to crash at Church’s.

“Did you do Georgia?” Felix asked, pulling his shirt over his head to toss it into the pile of laundry.

“Yes.”

“‘Something was slippery?’”

“I had my orders.” 

“You are so fucking hot. What’s my gift?”

“Not tonight.” Locus gave a realistic yawn to strengthen his next sentence. “I need more energy to do what I want to an acceptable level.”

“Your dirty talking skills are truly exemplary.” Felix kicked off the rest of his clothes as well as switched his tongue piercing to the standard one then wriggled under the bedsheets. “Why didn’t you tell me about Georgia?”

“The opportunity never presented itself.”

“Dick.”

Locus peeled back the blanket and slid in to join Felix, wrapping an arm around him to draw him in closer. 

“You were ‘offered a place’ in the excel program, huh?”

“I was offered a position related to the excel program.”

“You sure fucking were.”

“Tucker’s getting suspicious of your grades. You need to start attending class more.”

Felix pulled Locus’ hair out of it’s ponytail. “Nah. He thinks that the teachers are just actually responding to me flirting. He was complaining to me about it earlier today.”

“Someone will get suspicious.”

“And do fucking what about it? Ask my professors whether I gave them oral?”

“Felix.” 

“Oh my god, fine.” Felix shot the hair tie he’d been toying with across the room. “Turn off the light, I’ll go to more classes. You still owe me a gift.”

“I am aware.” Locus reached over and flicked the light off, pulling Felix to lie half on his chest. 

“Wanna hear what I was going to say was the mushiest thing you’ve said to me?” Came Felix’s voice, and despite the pitch black Locus knew he could see the exact teasing expression on Felix’s face.

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Go to sleep, Felix.”

“Tell me a bedtime story.”

Felix was lifted up by Locus’ heavy sigh. “Once upon a time, a mercenary was told to kill a college student who was being used as a government labrat…”

_Oh,_ Felix thought as he let his eyes fall shut. _This will be a good one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really just tried to shove like 3 or 4 separate points in the RVB timeline together into one only to base an AU loosely off it, didn't i? amazing. groundbreaking. extraordinary. i love felix and locus with all my heart and soul


	2. Stiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much of a fallout.

Getting to wake up slowly the next day was nice, even if waking up never came with the ability to nudge Locus awake because he was always already up. Felix nuzzled to kindly alert Locus to the fact he was waking up, so Locus could slide a hand into his hair and pretend that he’d been petting it lovingly while Felix slept.

Felix yawned, moving his hand over to slide down the far side of Locus’ jawline and tilt his head towards Felix so his lips were accessible, and Locus let out an appreciative hum while Felix kissed him.

“Your mouth tastes awful.” He murmured, brushing his thumb over Felix’s bottom lip.

Felix propped himself up on his elbows, kissing Locus again anyway, and Locus pressed into it despite his hurtful criticism. “The excel kids are going to be a fucking mess for a while. I wonder how ‘satisfactory’ the Chairman will find it.” 

“Must we think about the excel students right now?”

“Aw, am I killing the mood?” Felix laughed against Locus’ mouth, tugging on his hair playfully. “Are you sure there isn’t even one exceler you wouldn’t mind thinking about?”

“Felix.” Locus said it like he was worried Felix was feeling jealous, which was hilarious.

Did Felix have a tendency towards violent bursts of jealousy and possessiveness? Well, yes. Absolutely. But those were when he was in a bad mood, or Locus did something colossally stupid, and neither was happening right then. Felix slunk further down under the covers, lips moving over Locus’ chest. “Someone with freckles, maybe?”

Locus apparently got the idea that Felix wasn’t trying to trick him into setting off some sort of tirade, because he was relaxing back down against the mattress and his hand found its way back into Felix’s hair. “Perhaps.”

“If I pull the blanket over my head, think you’ll be able to imagine it’s him?”

“Tongue piercing.”

Felix rolled his eyes, sitting up and moving to take the piercing out but Locus stilled him with a brush of fingertips against his arm.

“I can likely work around it, though.”

Felix smirked. “Knew you liked it.”

Locus laid back down. There was a question in his eyes but it wasn’t the time to answer it, because the mood was all set and Felix didn’t want Locus to fuck it up.

He slithered back down, blanket tugged up over his head, and played his touches a little extra hesitant to sell the fantasy. He was more lips than teeth, in fact barely teeth at all, while he worked his way down over Locus’ stomach and his his fingertips drew feather-light patterns on Locus’ thighs.

Finding Locus already hard when Felix eased off his boxers was not a surprise. Finding him already leaking was, and Felix attributed it to his amazing actings skills. The internal debate then was whether to stick to the act while he sucked Locus dick or whether he should just do his usual levels of showing off.

Locus did enjoy consistency. And Felix did like being able to remind him he was good at more than sex. He could totally keep up the act the whole time.

So he would. Felix brushed his lips over the head of Locus’ cock gently and let a heartbeat go by before his mouth slowly opened, tongue pressing flat instead of sliding into the slit, and when Felix slid down he didn’t go all the way and coughed at the feeling of Locus’ cock brushing the back of his throat.

One hand was still on Locus’ thigh, so he could feel the muscles start to tense and used that to gauge the enjoyment. The pretending at inexperience had definitely been enjoyed, or at the very least gotten Locus more into it.

So his throat didn’t relax any when he tried taking Locus deeper, tensed with faux unsurety, and it made him gag and draw back.

The hand on his head let him, which wasn’t something Felix was used to, so it felt much less like a lapdance and more of a tango. Locus was playing the game as well. Felix cleared his throat and went back in, sucking with reckless abandon and drooling uselessly on Locus’s dick. He felt Locus getting progressively more tense, although it was slow going -- he’d gotten used to Felix’s practiced tongue so the lack of skill was undoubtedly as physically underwhelming as it was mentally enticing. 

It was a challenge to judge when the fantasy would stop being enough and Felix should start switching over to ‘I actually know how to give a blowjob’ territory. It did make it there eventually, which didn’t leave much room for keeping up the pretense. 

Locus gave up at some point as well, hand fisting in Felix’s hair as he pushed himself down his throat. While he came, he slipped out to leave streaks on Felix’s face. Although, Felix wondered if Locus would actually do that to Wash as well. Just to see him looking debauched. 

Felix curled his tongue in and swallowed, lapping Locus clean and feeling him shift uncomfortably in response to the sensitivity. 

Sitting up and out from under the covers was done more triumphantly than strictly necessary, but Felix did it while also using a finger to wipe cum off his face before sucking it clean so he had a valid reason to be smug.

“I am surprised last night left you in that much of a good mood.” Locus’ breath was impressively even, but not so much so that it was insulting.

Felix ran his tongue over his teeth, prodding gently at the tip of a temporary fang. “A lot of good things happened.” Wash admitting he had the hots for Locus, the promise of a gift, a shouting match, watching someone get overwhelmed with guilt, and finally getting to fall asleep to a story of Locus killing a guy. If all those things combined weren’t enough to get Felix in a good mood, really what would? “Your gift better involve an orgasm, now, though.”

“It was already going to.”

“That’s what I like to hear!” 

“Want it now?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“Too bad.” Locus smiled. “Wait.”

“Hurtful.”

“That’s later.” 

Fucking tease, too. Felix fell onto Locus’ chest, letting out an indignant sound. “I was hoping you were going to say his name when you came.”

“Have I called your name before?”

“No. But I was hoping anyway. I bet you’d say his if it was actually him. It’d be his pat on the head.” He didn’t need to look to know the tired expression that settled on Locus’ face in response.

“I bet he would have choked when I shoved down his throat.”

“I bet you wouldn’t have gotten off if you weren’t fucking my lungs.” Felix slid up and pushed his tongue into Locus’ mouth before he could reply, and Locus didn’t recoil at the taste like he used to after Felix sucked him off. “What are your plans today?”

“Get bothered by you.”

Felix’s grin was wolfish. “Perfect.” He rolled out of bed, stretching to show off his body as though Locus would want another round so soon, before he pulled on a pair of jeans and one of the shirts Locus kept in Felix’s drawers. “Have your cool down time then come join me in the living room.”

Locus consistently needed cool down time after social events. He wasn’t that uncomfortable with them, his feelings didn’t seem to go beyond them being a nuisance, but Felix had learned to back off and leave him to himself for a while if he’d been dealing with a large group of people recently. The introversion wasn’t much of an issue, as neither of them were extreme on the either end, so they stayed in and went out fair amounts. The former more so than the latter solely because going out was also effort, and sometimes Felix just felt lazy.

Flicking through TV channels was entertaining for a little bit, and then scrolling through his Instagram feed to see pics from the party was entertaining for a little bit, and then sending Tucker some texts wasn’t entertaining for even a full little bit because Tucker didn’t fucking respond. 

Felix was rocking back and forth on his feet with annoyance when his phone lit up with a blocked ID, which was always something good. He stilled as he took the call. “Do we get our gold stars?”

“You get nothing. Your partner will.” The voice of the Chairman came over the phone.

Felix rolled his eyes. “If the plan was to stress out South, it fucking worked.”

“Please elaborate.”

He hopped up on the kitchen counter. “Washington was left in the dark and he exploded at her demanding to know what’d happened. South screamed that Georgia died and then bolted, leaving Carolina to explain the tragic accident. So it had the added bonus of fucking up Washington’s relationship with South and Carolina.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah. It sure is.” Enthralling shit. “Also, Washington has a crush on Locus.”

“Does he, now?” The tone of his voice was good, it sounded conniving. 

Felix loved a good conniving tone. “I was thinking -- you know, I’m a real overachiever type -- that if you wanted us to get involved for another perspective on how everyone was doing… that could be an in.”

“I am surprised you’re offering up your partner for this.”

Felix’s lips curled as he glanced to the bedroom door. “He’s cool with it.”

“And are you ‘cool with it’ as well?”

“To say the least.” God, everyone really thought he was just a possessive monster, huh? Just because he had the slight tendency to kill some of the people who got too friendly with Locus outside of missions? “I think it sounds fun.”

Locus wandered out of the bedroom, tilting his head when he saw Felix on the phone.

“Very well. Go ahead, but do not harm Washington.”

Felix locked eyes with Locus and his grin grew. “Oh, I think we’re going to hurt him at least a little bit.”

“Do not excessively harm Washington.” The Chairman relented, sounded unamused. 

While it was very tempting to keep stringing along the conversation about how much hurt Washington was allowed to endure, Locus was walking over to Felix and then sliding a hand around his side, so Felix clicked his tongue. “Of course not. Good talk, control. I’ll let Locus know about his sticker.”

“It will be sent within the hour. Goodbye, Felix.”

Felix placed the phone down and shifted so he had one leg dangling on either side of Locus’ hips. “I’m not getting paid shit for Georgia so you’re buying takeout.”

Locus settled a hand on Felix’s knee. “New orders?”

“Right! Yeah, we’re gonna fuck Wash.”

Locus stared at Felix evenly.

“Seriously. I told control about his crush and they said it sounds like a great in for more reconnaissance.”

“So that is who we are going to hurt?”

“What, you don’t think he’ll like it rough? I think he’d be suspicious if we were perfectly gentle.”

“He has yet to show any interest in you.”

“Please. Everyone’s interested in me.” Maybe not romantically -- thank god not romantically, actually -- but Felix had found that the majority of people his age wanted to sleep with him. Even more were not actively opposed. “And if he’s not than you can make love to him all on your own and he can think you’re having some sort of torrid love affair.”

“It has been well-established to the general public that we are not exclusive.”

“Uh, it’s been established that I am not exclusive. You, on the other hand, are a recluse with no sex drive.”

“Should I propose, as well?” A twitch meant he was internally rolling his eyes.

Maybe Felix was going a little bit too far in on his ideas of where it could go. But hell, Wash had expressed interest in Locus! So the best solution for everyone was for Locus to express interest back, and then when the whole dumb experiment was over and the Chairman told them to clean things up, Felix could watch Locus shoot Washington point blank.

There was really no need to get jealous over someone who was inevitably going to turn into just another job well done on Locus’ resume.

“Have some confidence, Locus. I’m sure you’ll be able to get him to pop the question to you.” Felix placed a hand on the back of Locus’ neck and pulled him in for a kiss, which was responded to, if with a large note of suspicion. 

It was exceptionally rare that Locus didn’t know what was going on in Felix’s head. The reverse couldn’t be said -- Felix had a hell of a lot more insight into Locus than anyone else, but the man had a gift for being unreadable. So getting to feel Locus’ discomfort with being put into a situation he routinely put Felix into was delightful.

Locus pulled away, going back to the bedroom and leaving the door open behind him. With a sigh, Felix slid off the counter and trailed after him. 

His bedding had been stripped and was undoubtedly folded neatly in the closet, and a box had been placed down next to the bare bed with some sealed scalpels and a first aid kit on top of it. There was also a prescription bottle with neither of their names on it, and pills didn’t really take that long to expire, so Felix had to wonder how pre-planned it all was. 

He knew Locus had a list of gift ideas so he’d be able to pay up quickly on invoking them in an attempt to control Felix. Hell, Locus even had a very securely locked safe hidden in his room that Felix was pretty sure contained a physical gift or two to break out in case of emergency. Probably some other things in it too, of course, but the most important contents were the potential gifts. Felix had tried breaking in and gotten caught by Locus.

Once Felix flicked his gaze up to meet Locus’, he was yanked forward and shoved onto the bed. It took him off guard enough he kicked at Locus’ leg out of instinct rather than just letting it happen, but Locus went with the movement and fell with his shin was pinning Felix’s ankles to the mattress, landing hard enough it’d leave them both with bruises.

Locus hiked up the shirt Felix was wearing, Locus’ shirt that Felix was wearing, and let out one of his detached hums. “You look like a kid dressing in his father’s clothes.”

Felix wriggled faintly, not even putting up a front of trying to break free. More trying to get comfortable. “You look like a challenged kid who’s only hope at a college education is football and steroids.” And was the size of one, too.

Locus sighed, and three hours later Felix had a large bandage on his torso and was absolutely not feeling it after taking more than the recommended dose of painkillers. They’d ended up in the living room through some undoubtedly wonderful events that Felix absolutely didn’t remember but for sure did happen post getting carved into, and the TV was playing something in the background while Felix was attempting to fuse his and Locus’ mouths together through sheer willpower. His hands were skating along Locus’ skin, drifting over everything in reach. He wasn’t frantically tugging anymore, like had been post carving but pre living room, but he was still exceptionally tactile. 

Which meant when Tucker walked in, he was greeted to the sight of a blanket pooled around Felix’s hips to obscure the exact nature of him straddling Locus’ lap while they seemed completely invested in what they were doing with absolutely no attention left for the outside world.

“Oh, that’s fucking gross! You have a bedroom!”

Church also poked his head in, recoiling in disgust even as Felix broke off the kiss.

“Calm down. We’re not fucking.”

“You coulda fooled me.” But he took his word for it, apparently. Tucker walked in, nose still wrinkled, and gestured for Church to join. 

Who didn’t seem that keen on it, but did anyway. He just also eyed Felix and Locus carefully, and didn’t entirely seem to believe they were both fully clothed under the blanket. 

“Clearly.” Felix sat back, Locus’ oversized shirt falling off one of his shoulders, and then he paused to consider before pulling Locus into another kiss.

“Guys! Bedroom!” Tucker probably should have sounded more exasperated than he did, but he had built up a certain level of tolerance to the antics that Felix pulled. Making out in the living room was on the tamer side of things that bothered Tucker.

“We were here first.” Felix’s voice was barely loud enough to hear from where Tucker and Church were standing, but noticeably petulant. 

“Oh my god, you gave him drugs.” Tucker said.

There was no response, beyond the breathy sounds of kissing.

“Do you two not have a medium setting? Like it’s either refusing to kiss at a party or this?” Church asked, glancing over to Tucker questioningly.

“This is the Felix setting. It happens when Locus fucked up, or when Locus fucked up by giving Felix drugs!” Tucker raised his voice very pointedly with the last bit. “Like he’s not fucking annoying enough while sober!”

“I’m taking them for a reason!” Felix shot back, eyes narrowed.

“Oh yeah? What, that breezing through classes without doing any work is too stressful for you?”

“I am injured.” He twisted in Locus’ lap and raised up his shirt to show off the bloody bandage on his side, then gestured at the fading handprint on the side of his face.

“Holy shit.” Church said.

Tucker waved his hand. “Don’t give him sympathy. That’s a slippery slope.” He returned to facing Felix. “Your levels of masochism are like, beyond human, you know. It’s not even masochism anymore. It’s just insanity.”

“I could be a sadist, rather than Felix being a masochist.” Locus piped up, and Felix turned to him with a pleased expression.

“True!” He cut Tucker a smug look. “I’m on pain meds. Clearly, I don’t like pain. This is all Loc’s freakiness, not mine.”

Locus’ hands slid up Felix’s sides while he spoke to prove the point, fingers digging in just a little over the wound. Felix winced, one hand settling on Locus’ shoulder.

“I truly don’t give a shit. Keep your weird mating rituals out of the living room.”

“We’re watching a movie.” Felix’s voice was unmistakably a whine.

“You’re not. Even if you were, I don’t care.”

Felix begrudgingly slipped out Locus’ lap, and the blanket fell off which did at least confirm they hadn’t been fucking, much to Church’s relief. 

Tucker handed Church a bag of microwavable popcorn. “I’ll be back in like ten minutes. Try not to interact with them too much.”

Then he walked off, and Church unwrapped the bag then watched it spin in the microwave and took it out when it stopped popping before he wandered over to see what was playing on the TV because fuck Tucker and his advise.

“What shitty horror movie is this?” He asked.

Felix spoke without looking away from it. “Dunno. I don’t even remember sitting down on this couch, much less picking a movie.”

The very edge of Locus’ lips twitched in amusement, and he shifted over before drawing Felix in close to make room for Church on the couch.

After a few moments of hesitation, Church sat down. “What are you on, exactly?”

“What are you, a cop?” Felix stuck out his tongue.

“Really?”

People said ‘really’ to Felix way too much, in his opinion. “I don’t know.” He nudged Locus. “What am I on?”

“Vicodin.” 

“That’s a new one.”

“Correct.” 

Felix looked back over to Church.

Church found he had nothing in particular to say. “I’ve never taken it.”

With that, Felix’s attention returned to the TV.

Another few minutes passed of the three of them watching the movie, with Locus being the only one who had even a vague notion of what was going on, but Church had been told to not interact so he was trying to come up with another conversation topic.

“How long have you two been together?”

That time, both sets of eyes landed on him. And both sets of eyes looked pitying. Church was very aware he had clearly said something stupid.

“A while.” At least Locus did give an answer, even if he and Felix made eye contact after.

“Why do you care?”

“Just… making conversation.” Sure, he sort of knew Felix. They texted sometimes, but not about much outside of events Tucker was also going to. He didn’t know Locus well at all, though, and considering how often the two of them were both left to sit in the same room awkwardly while Felix and Tucker argued about bills or any hundreds of other things they found to argue about, it was strange not knowing him at all. Church wasn’t filled with the incessant need to be friends, but a veil of politeness would have been nice.

He was also curious about what that whole thing with Washington had been, then, if the two of them were such a long-lasting thing. 

Thankfully, he picked up on the vibe of the room enough to not ask any more questions that were related to Felix and Locus’ relationship. He got the feeling that the two of them were insulting him anyway, psychically. They sure had the appearance of the ability to read each other’s minds, and as far as Church knew the two of them were still shit talking him through subtle gestures when Tucker returned.

“Dude.” The sheer amount of disappointment that Tucker had managed to put into that one word was almost impressive. 

Attempting to engage Felix and Locus in conversation had, indeed, not gone great. Left Church feeling slightly irritable, too, so he just let it show on his face.

Which apparently was enough for Tucker to not start in on a lecture about how he warned him, and it was likely that the lecture may have taken place anyway if not for the fact that Felix and Locus were still sitting nearby. Tucker walked over and stole a handful of popcorn from Church as penance. “What happened after we left?”

Which was quite a question. Felix ran his tongue along the back of his teeth thoughtfully. “Some drama with the excel kids.”

“Wow. What’s fucking new.” 

The issue was, specifically, that while Washington had been kept in the dark about the reality of what happened he had decided to go yelling about it in front of Tucker. Which may have been because Felix brought it up, sure, but he’d only brought it up because Locus hadn’t bothered to mention that he had killed the guy. It was very clearly not Felix’s fault that Tucker had just enough information to be really curious about Georgia’s fate which Felix was sworn to secrecy about. “Tell me about it.” Not being too chatty could be played off the drugs, rather than not wanting to accidentally get Tucker interested enough in it to ask more.

Tucker threw a few popcorn into his mouth. “Glad we left early, then.”

“Glad I convinced you to leave. You’re welcome.” Church looked put out that he hadn’t gotten an immediate thanks, not that he could have been expecting one.

“Yeah, whatever.” Tucker looked at the screen. “What shitty fucking horror movie is this?”

“Okay, fuck this, we’re going to go have sex.” Felix was off the couch, hopping over Church’s legs and making a beeline for his bedroom before disappearing into it without saying anything further.

Church turned to look at Locus, who was looking suddenly rather tired. Being pulled around by Felix so much was more of an emotional drain than a physical one, and he let out a sigh. 

“Guess his small talk function got overwhelmed.” Tucker mused, eyes on the closed door.

“What the fuck?”

Locus stood up as he answered. “Felix finds small talk trying.”

“That explains earlier, then.”

For a moment it seemed like Locus was going to say something else, but in the end he just went to follow Felix into his room. Felix stayed true to his word, immediately starting up an attempt at seduction because he was bored.

Locus ignored it. “What’s wrong?”

By all accounts, nothing. Felix had a fun time the night before, he’d gotten sexual attention from Locus twice in one day, Locus got paid for a hit which meant he had more money to spend on Felix, and Felix had gotten drugs. He should be in a good mood. “I feel restless.” Something about idle hands, and he picked up a butterfly knife and toyed with it. “I haven’t gotten to hunt in a while.”

“Are you upset I went without you?”

“No.” He tossed the knife in the air then caught it. “Maybe. Actually, no. No for sure. I hate ‘accident’ jobs.”

Locus knew better than to attempt to pry more out of Felix when he was still sorting through things himself, so silence fell. Locus inevitably ended up sitting down and reading whatever current book he currently brought everywhere with him, and Felix curled up with his sketchbook.

Locus moved from the chair to the bed when he first started to get tired, and Felix leaned against him instinctively. He was drawing something abstract and undoubtedly borne from a drug-fueled belief in artistic genius.

They fell asleep, and Locus left early the next day before Felix woke up, and then maintaining the cover of going to classes kept them busy. Felix complained heartily about having to attend to Tucker, who wasn’t even a little bit sympathetic. 

Felix had managed to convince Locus to come over and buy him food on the night that Wash finally texted.

Honestly, Felix was almost impressed by the fact he stuck out for a while, trapped living with a ton of people who either were directly angry at him or had probably picked up on the fact others were angry at him. Not helped by the fact that Maine lived with Carolina, which was a fact he’d learned while lurking instead of going to class, which left Wash unable to flee to his meat shield for protection. 

“Wash is coming over.” Felix announced, and Tucker raised his eyebrows.

“No shit?” 

“None.” He’d just watched Locus’ phone receive the text that confirmed Wash was willing to come deal with Felix for the sake of getting away from the excel hell he’d built for himself. 

“Does he know I live here?”

Felix blinked. He actually had no idea whether or not Wash was aware of their living situation. Maybe he’d assumed that Felix and Locus lived together. Maybe they’d mentioned that they didn’t, at some point, around him. 

“I believe he does.” Locus offered.

“Cool, because I’m not hiding just so you two can double team an excel student.”

Locus’ eyebrows creased for a millisecond. 

Felix snorted. “Like he’s the type to put out that fast.”

Although, on that note, it did occur to him that Wash was probably feeling rather scorned and ignored. If there was an ideal time to lure him in closer, it would certainly be then. Hell, maybe if Felix played things sweeter, the plan of all three of them becoming friendly would even work. It was a much preferable idea to sending Locus out on his own to woo Washington.

To let Locus know that was the plan, Felix shifted over closer to him and traced an aimless pattern over his hand with a ghost of a touch.

“Gross. This is grosser than you two making out.” Tucker glanced at the laptop, because as much as he came off stupid he’d picked up on some of their signs pretty quickly. Sure, he didn’t know exactly what it meant, but he knew enough to know they’d be affectionate for the rest of the night. “But I will absolutely not complain about it even a little bit for the rest of the night if you order me some potstickers.”

Felix raised his eyebrows at Locus.

Locus clicked the mouse. “Steamed or fried?”

“Fried! Who gets potstickers without going full unhealthy?”

Felix snickered, because Locus usually got his steamed, when he did feel like indulging in take out.

“Are you two gonna get enough for Wash, too?” Tucker was absolutely asking in the hopes that meant he’d be able to steal some from Wash, given Wash was a guest in his house and therefore had no right to complain.

It was a good idea, though. Even if Washington had already eaten, maybe he’d snack a little bit. Or at least appreciate the thought. “Everybody likes orange chicken.” Felix supplied.

Another click.

The cost really wasn’t an issue, given what they were being paid by the Chairman as a default and then especially with Locus’ added bonus. But Locus sent Felix a warning look anyway when Felix said, “And beef chow mein.” because he liked to pretend that he wouldn’t do whatever Felix said.

He did add it, of course, but then he also immediately placed the order without leaving any time for anyone else to suggest another dish.

Felix pulled his hand away from Locus’, but Locus caught it and slipped their fingers together.

Getting permission from Felix to be more affectionate was really going to go to his head that night, Felix could tell. Washington wasn’t even there yet. However, it was for the greater good of fucking with Wash, and Felix had already given it the clear, so while he did give a dramatic sigh he didn’t move his hand and leaned against Locus gently. 

Tucker raised his eyebrows. “Been a while since you two did Locus’ setting.”

“I’m gonna eat your potstickers if you break our deal. And then never buy you potstickers again.”

“I’m not complaining!” Tucker defended himself, narrowing his eyes at Felix. “And you didn’t even buy me potstickers. Locus did.”

Felix let out a huff of amusement. Locus wouldn’t have if not for the look Felix had sent him, and they all knew it. “How long until Wash is here?” He asked in lieu of gracing Tucker with a reply. Food delivery said 40 minutes, but it always said 40 minutes just in case. It was a lot more likely to be just under a half-hour, because it was close as hell to their townhouse.

Locus texted.

“Is it an anniversary for you guys or something, though? Absolutely not complaining, but I have noticed you’ve been extra into each other this past week.”

“This is the first time we have seen each other this week.” Locus pointed out, and Tucker rolled his entire head rather than just his eyes.

“This past seven days. Whatever.”

“I can honestly say I have no clue when our anniversary would be. Locus?”

Locus shrugged.

“You two didn’t jot down your first date anywhere, huh?”

Felix snorted. “Oh, that’s what you meant. Yeah, no, we don’t have one of those. We don’t go on dates.”

Tucker stared. “No, of course not. You just go out and get dinner, kiss your way back into your bedroom, and then make inconspicuous athletic noises until the sun rises. That’s definitely not a date.”

“Fuck off. It’s killing time.”

Tucker glanced over to Locus, waiting to see if he was going to step in and give his opinion on whether or not he and Felix went on dates. He didn’t, of course. The silence stretched on for a while, during which Felix looked rather pleased with Locus not caring to add anything, before Locus spoke. “Washington will be here in approximately twenty minutes.”

“Tell him to text you when he’s almost here. Tucker, go away.”

For the sake of his potstickers, Tucker picked up his phone and shuffled off to his room.

Because if Felix was going to spend a night playing the love-y dove-y couple, he absolutely needed a post-orgasmic haze to get him through it. Besides, blah blah chemicals doing blah blah meant that people were more open to mushy shit after getting off with someone, so it’d be easier in that way too. Or that whole thing was a myth which had been debunked. Felix really didn’t pay enough attention to the world of science to care.

“Does the brain release love chemicals after sex?” He asked.

“Vasopressin has been linked to pair bonding. Both the link and pair bonding being applicable to humans are considered dubious.”

“Huh. Cool.” Felix stood up, deposited himself on the couch, and left room between his legs for Locus to kneel. “Make me dubiously fall in love, baby.”

It wasn’t uncommon for Locus to stare at Felix like he was contemplating the sanity of being his partner after Felix spoke, but it usually happened while Felix continued blabbing on. The long stretch of silence was less common. But Felix held his gaze, expression slowly turning more and more smugly amused.

So Locus sighed, told Washington to message him when he was five minutes away, and then promptly got up and pushed Felix flat on his back before sitting between his legs and feeling a knee hook over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was not planning on turning this into a multichaptered fic but... i guess that was irrelevant. i have a rough idea of how long this will be


	3. Where Washington Doesn't Ruin Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And felix doesn't, either.

Vasopressin was not going to come through for Felix the way he’d been hoping it would. After he’d tossed his shirt into the laundry basket and thrown on one of Locus’, he was not overwhelmed with mushy feelings that suddenly made him look forward to being wrapped around Locus all night or have Locus say anything else nice to him.

He walked past Locus when he came out of his room, going over to Tucker’s door and knocking before calling out, “Wash is almost here! Safe to come out!” and he waited outside of Tucker’s door for him to appear.

Which he did, with a jump because he hadn’t expected Felix to be right there. “Dude, what the fuck?”

Felix made an incomprehensible gesture with his hands before spinning around and going to the couch, depositing himself sulkily next to Locus.

Tucker looked over to Locus. “Dude, what the fuck?” He repeated, intonation more questioning, as he sat down on the plush chair in the living room.

Locus shrugged.

“Just open the door for Wash when he arrives.” Felix said, and immediately got Locus’ shoulder bumping his own in protest. “Oh my god, fine. Don’t. But you’re answering for food.” 

There was no physicality in response to that, so Tucker gave a slow nod. “Did he bite your dick?”

Locus gave a huff of amusement, but Felix just scowled. “I would be so much less annoyed if he bit my dick.”

Tucker nodded his head thoughtfully. “Did he propose?”

“Okay.” Felix turned to Locus. “I am grateful you did not propose to me.”

“It was never something I had considered doing.”

“You’re hot again.”

“You are so welcome!” Tucker said, grin overtaking his face with his stupid dazzling white teeth on full display.

Locus deigned to tilt his head in acknowledgement and then the knock came, and with a soft groan Felix pushed himself up and out of the bed and trundled to the door before opening it. He waved his hand as he stepped back. “Mi casa es tu casa.”

Washington stepped in, throwing Felix a contemplative glance. “I thought the phrase was ‘mi casa, su casa.”

“Yeah, if you’re talking to someone to someone you feel like being super polite to.” 

“The more you know.” Washington had a momentary look of surprise at seeing Tucker but then appeared to remember that it was Felix and Tucker’s townhouse, and it was replaced with a mostly neutral expression.

“Does this count as a house?” Tucker asked. “How the fuck do you say townhouse in Spanish?”

“You realize I haven’t spoken conversational Spanish in many years, right?” That was absolutely a lie, but Felix didn’t want to broadcast how frequently he spoke other languages. “¿Pequeña casa? ¿Casa adosada?”

“Small house?” Tucker’s voice was judgemental.

“Bitch, I’m doing my best. I’m not fluent anymore. Get off my dick.”

Tucker glared, Washington snorted. He was more relaxed than Felix had expected him to be. He tended to tense up when Felix was near, but especially so when Locus was near. Things must be worse at his clique than Felix had anticipated, which meant a gleeful phone call to the chairman was in order. Or, well, a gleeful answering of the phone. Same difference.

“There’s gonna be food in like ten minutes.” Tucker looked over to Washington. “You eaten?”

“Large lunch.”

“We ordered extra for you.” Locus said, and Wash gave him a strange look in response.

“Thank you.”

So still a little on edge. The man had good instincts, Felix had to give it to him. Felix plopped down on the couch, a leg crossing over one of Locus’. “We already made Tucker agree to get the food when it arrives, so feel free to sit.” No risk of getting comfortable just to have to move.

However, the only place was on the couch next to Locus, because Tucker had stolen the chair of solidarity.

Washington took a few seconds before he sat down, eyeing Locus before he settled down properly.

“I heard shit got kinda tense after I left.” There was Tucker’s curiosity. At least he wasn’t bringing up Georgia -- or at least, not yet.

“Oh, yeah?” Washington sent Felix a disapproving look. Which was bullshit, because Felix had barely given Tucker anything. “What did you hear, exactly?”

“Uh, exactly what I said.” Good thing Tucker didn’t have a master plan to seduce Washington, because he’d be failing miserably. “Your program had some drama. It happened when I was not there but it happened the night that I was there. Also known as happening… after I left.” If he’d had a small throwable object, it definitely would have been tossed as a replacement for a nudge. “So what happened?”

Felix flipped Tucker off for Wash. “He came here to get away from all that shit, pick a different topic.”

Tucker leant back in his chair. “Whatever. I’m always out of the loop anyway.”

“Because you’re terrible at keeping secrets.” Felix retorted.

“Pot, kettle.” Tucker replied.

“Hey fuck you.” It was snapped a little more than it made sense to be, and Locus recognized the invitation and slipped an arm around Felix’s waist. Felix outwardly begrudgingly sunk into it, apparently quelled. 

“Are you always this high-energy?” Washington asked.

“They are.” Locus confirmed. “When near each other.”

“Ah.” For some probably stupid reason, Washington looked contemplative about that. 

“Don’t fucking analyze it.” Felix groaned, and hopped up to get himself a beer from the fridge. He got one for Tucker as well, because Tucker was going to want one, and while he walked back Tucker held his hand out expectantly. Felix tossed one of them at him.

“Dude!” Tucker caught it, frowning. “Now I have to open it over the sink. I may as well have just gotten it myself. You’re heartless.” 

Truly tragic. Felix sent him an extremely sympathetic look, like Tucker had told him that his pet flea just died, and then retook his place on the couch. “Do the tappy thing.”

“What tappy thing?” Washington asked.

Felix gestured to Tucker. “Do the thing.”

“I’m terrible at the tappy thing. It’s gonna explode anyway.”

“Oh my god.” Felix sighed. “You weak ass. Come over here, I’ll do the tappy thing. Then you won’t lose any beer to the sink.”

That was apparently a good argument, because Tucker went over and handed Felix his can. Felix turned to Washington with a flourish, brought up a hand and made sure Washington was looking -- which he was, specifically amused -- before he tapped his fingernail slightly off center of the top of the beer can three times, then carefully turned it over and tapped on the center of the bottom five times before handing it back to Tucker.

Tucker looked at Washington. “If this explodes over my shirt you’re not allowed to sleep with them. Just to let you know. Be my revenge.”

Washington pressed his teeth together.

“Ignore him. He’s a virgin.” Felix declared, and Tucker sputtered.

“I hate you.”

“Open your beer, pussy.”

“Rude.” Tucker cracked open the can, and the sound of fizz filled the air. Washington and Tucker both stared at the can anticipatorily, but it didn’t foam over. Tucker opened it the rest of the way, and took a swig. “Nice. Enjoy the sex, courtesy of me.”

“I’ll mention you in my gratitude speech about it.” Washington replied, deadpan.

Felix lit up, and sent Locus a smile. Locus seemed to be repressing the urge to do the same. Which was fine, because Locus was allowed to find other people amusing. Felix didn’t care.

“Why does everyone at this school hate me?”

“Church likes you.” Locus commented.

“Does he?” Felix hummed. “Does Church like anyone?”

“Super solid question. We should get him into another game of truth or dare and ask.” Tucker said.

Felix snapped his fingers into a finger-gun. “Hell yes.”

“He was engaged at one point.” Locus reminded them. “He must have the capacity to like people.”

“I dunno.” 

Felix nodded at Tucker. “I agree with I dunno. Maybe it was arranged. Or maybe she just gave really good head. You gotta tie down those people so they don’t get snatched away, you know.”

“To the point of proposal?”

If someone other than Washington asked that, Felix would immediately confirm. But they were doing the whole seducing and potentially romancing thing, so that probably wouldn’t mesh well with Felix declaring we was only in anything for the sex. “Maybe not.”

Tucker quirked an eyebrow at Felix but didn’t say anything. He definitely knew then, though, that Felix was doing another one of those songs and dances he’d seen Felix do many times before to get people interested. He also knew those people always ended up discarded pretty soon after they finally gave in.

At least it meant Felix wouldn’t have to blatantly tell Tucker to fuck off later. The dawning realization in his eyes also came with an annoyed resignation that after food, the living room was going to turn into either an emotional boxing ring or a sexual boxing ring. 

One way or another, it was going to be tiring and not open-invitation to join. Tucker might have left right after the realization if there hadn’t been food still on the way.

“Maybe he hates all men.” The look Tucker sent Felix said that some sort of record was being made of Tucker doing him a favor by continuing the conversation and steering it away from blowjobs.

That was fine. Felix would remind Tucker that he’d gotten Tucker food, so they were even.

“Understandable.” Washington said.

“Yeah, we’re awful.”

Locus nodded his agreement, somehow pointedly at Felix and Tucker. It was likely they were both just aware that Locus was thinking about how the two of them were more than the nod managing to target them in its movement, but they still both looked mildly offended.

Locus let out a soft sound of amusement. 

“Fuck off. You’re a man too, you know.” Felix glared.

“Oh, am I?” Locus’ eyebrows raised like he was having a great revelation.

Which was extra a dick move because he knew Felix couldn’t start listing out all the ways Locus was very much so a man with sweet little Washington sitting there and ready to flee at a moment’s notice.

“A woman would smell nicer.” Tucker almost had a dreamy look on his face when he spoke.

Which was bullshit, in Felix’s books, because Locus had the infuriating ability to always smell fantastic. “A woman would have better social grace, more like. Probably not terrify everyone off just by walking into a room.” Felix was smiling.

Washington looked a bit guilty, being one of the people who had consistently gotten uncomfortable whenever Locus had just walked into a room.

“I dunno. If she was the same height, she might.” Tucker said, then immediately grimaced. “Shit.”

“Pay your penance, bitch.” Felix said.

Tucker sighed and stood up, poking around in this wallet and having to resort to counting out a dollar in change before he wandered over to the kitchen.

“What just happened?” Washington asked.

“They have a rhyme jar.” Locus explained.

“Oh.” A few seconds of contemplation.” Why?”

“This house is firmly anti-rhyming.” Felix stretched his arms over his head, letting one fall to lay around the back of Locus’ shoulders as his other brought his can of beer to his mouth for a sip. “And very pro-pizza.”

Washington stared.

“The rhyme jar is a pizza fund.” Locus explained again.

“Don’t underplay the importance of the pizza migration like that!” Tucker was back from the kitchen, hand up. “It is so much more than a pizza fund. It’s a pizza…” He fumbled for the right word. “Like a religious journey. Of pizza.”

“A pizza pilgrimage?” Washington supplied.

“Yeah, that!” Tucker snapped his fingers. “That word that people only ever use in reference to vintage nuns and that muslim thing.”

“There is a lot of unpack in that sentence.” Felix said. “Vintage nuns?”

“You know.” Tucker gestured. “Pilgrims.”

“Vintage nuns.” Washington repeated.

“I am being bullied in my own house.” 

Locus was silent. He didn’t even look amused. He didn’t even find vintage fucking nuns amusing, which is totally the type of stupidity he would have laughed at before he got a stick up his ass all the time, and Felix repressed a spark of annoyance. 

“Are you talking about the Hajj?”

Both Felix and Tucker looked at each other questioningly in response to Washington’s question.

“Maybe.” Tucker finally settled on. “If you explain what that is, I will be able to give you a solid answer.”

“The pilgrimage to Mecca.” 

“Ah. Then yes.” Silence hung for longer than was comfortable. “Are you Muslim?”

“Not… anymore?”

Felix and Locus exchanged a glance.

“But also a lot of people who aren’t Muslim know what Hajj is.”

“W-- I did too!” Tucker protested. “I just didn’t know the fucking word for it.”

In an unsubtle but effective way to diffuse the strange atmosphere, Washington changed the subject. “Why do you need to do a whole pilgrimage for pizza?” 

“The place is two hours away.”

Washington nodded. “So really good pizza, then?”

Felix nodded as well. “Really good pizza. We throw down a ton of money on it and then store it in slices in the freezer.”

“We are currently out.”

“And you go when there’s enough money in the rhyme jar to pay for it?”

“God, no.” Felix made a face. “That would take forever. We go when there’s enough money in the rhyme jar to pay for gas.”

The doorbell rang.

“I just fucking sat down.” Tucker complained, and Felix sent him a grin. 

The rules of the deal bound his actions. Dramatically, reluctantly, Tucker rose to answer the door. While he got food, Felix stretched over Locus to poke Washington’s shoulder and send him a meaningful look that he would hopefully get the gist of.

Washington did not get the gist of it. He raised an eyebrow.

Felix looked over to Tucker for a moment then held one of his hands out flat and punched it with the other.

Washington snorted, bringing up a hand to cover his mouth. Locus rolled his eyes. Washington shook his head, the plush of his cheeks betraying the lingering smile behind his fingers.

He mouthed, _It’s fine._

Felix gave a solemn nod, his other arm coming around to also wrap around Locus’ shoulders. At that point, he was almost tempted to just slide into Locus’ lap, because he really might as well have.

Washington looked like he was unsure if Felix was being possessive or trying to set a mood.

Felix was also unsure if he was being possessive or trying to set a mood. Two birds and one stone, probably.

Tucker was back with the bag in not even a full minute, placing it on the coffee table before he fetched plates and bowls and various silverware. Locus unpacked the food in the meantime, which meant that Felix had to let go of him, and Felix cut Tucker a mock glare when Tucker stole some orange chicken.

“Well!” Tucker picked up his bowl and the carton of potstickers. “I’m going to go into my room and put on headphones and listen to music and or watch shitty TV late into the night at a reasonable but not super loud volume.” So much for him not hiding so the two of them could potentially double team an excel student. “Cool seeing you, Wash. Good luck.”

He went off into his room, leaving an awkward silence behind in his wake.

“You know, I was entirely aware was I was getting myself into by coming here, but I didn’t know Tucker was going to be so blatant about it.”

Felix snorted. “Yeah, well. This isn’t exactly the pad of subtly, I guess. He’s also probably jealous as hell.” After all, Tucker was pulling absolutely no pussy whatsoever and Felix was out there pulling in another lay at the same time as his consistent lay. He was the top bitch of getting laid in their house. “Want something to drink?”

“Yeah, actually. I really would.” 

Someone had some nerves they wanted calmed. “Beer?”

Washington crinkled his eyes. “Are there other alcoholic options?”

“I can mix you something.” Locus said, and Washington gave a small nod.

“Thanks.”

Nice. Formality of gratefulness had decreased. It had probably helped that Tucker had been so blunt about Felix and Locus’ intentions, honestly, because Washington seemed like he had found some solid footing. Even if he was nervous about the path, he’d at least worked out which he was on. 

Locus stood up to go make Washington something to drink, and Washington turned to face Felix. “Why are you okay with this?”

Felix paused with the edge of his beer can on his lips. “Are you kidding me?” Here he was, handing his partner over on a silver platter, and Washington paused the opportunity to question it? Dude was damaged. “Have you met me?”

“Yeah. So has everyone else. You try to kill people who talk to Locus through glaring and sheer willpower.”

“People who don’t fucking deserve him.” The hiss of it was genuine, because the glares Felix was caught sending were also genuine. He’d killed a fair number of the people Locus had slept with before meeting Felix, and it had felt vindictively orgasmic. 

It took him a few seconds to catch on to why Washington was looking at him with such surprise. It dawned on him that he just declared Washington worthy of Locus, in Washington’s mind. He was missing some information, after all. A decent part of Felix wanted to add _Don’t get any bright fucking ideas._ but the whole point of everything was for Washington to get bright fucking ideas, so he settled for narrowing his eyes. “Try not to let that go to your head.”

“I’ll try.”

Felix took a large mouthful of his beer. One day, they were going to burn Washington and all his little classmates to the fucking ground.

One day. Waiting until then was fine, with that end in sight. So was pretending Washington was something special or important or unique to either of them.

“It’s pretty obvious you two care about each other,” Washington said it like he was planning on giving a whole impromptu speech, so Felix waved his hand through the air quickly to cut him off.

“I don’t do this type of shit. I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of you two swanning off together to go date, or whatever, but frankly Locus needs more than me and I’d rather--”

Then he got cut off by Washington kissing him, so everyone in the school really did fall as hard for the ‘asshole with a heart of gold’ trope regardless of whether they were trained killers or just drunk girls at parties. 

The small jump Felix gave wasn’t acting, more so just letting his natural response show because he honestly had not been expecting Washington to just kiss him, but the slow melting into it was. Arms gently coming up to drape over Washington’s shoulders, the way his lips parted in little bursts of forwardness, the barely-there head tilt -- really, Felix was probably laying it on a little bit thick. 

But it was working, as evidenced by Washington’s tongue in his mouth. Felix was obviously still alert enough to notice the silent swing the door opening and the muffled creak of Locus leaning against the frame, but he pretended that he didn’t.

A few seconds passed.

“I thought I was the one you were interested in.” Locus’ voice was even, betraying nothing beneath its thin amusement, but when Felix pulled back from Washington he could tell the jealousy tensing in the edge of his eyes.

A flare of annoyance fired when Felix realized he didn’t know which one of them Locus was jealous of, but that got pushed down while Washington was still looking away. “I told you, everyone’s interested in me.”

“I regret this already.” Washington announced. 

Locus walked over, setting Washington’s drink down before sliding a slow hand into his hair and tugging just hard enough to make Washington look up at him. “Do you?”

Felix’s stare was tangibly warm against the side of Washington’s face as hesitated. “No.”

Locus let go of his hair and sat down on the other side of Washington, placing a person between himself and Felix.

The image of Locus shooting Washington played in Felix’s head, and he smiled. “The serious voice. It’ll get you every time.” More than Washington would ever have the displeasure of knowing, probably. Many a forced hands from Felix had come following that stupid tone, and it was likely many more would come in the future. 

To his credit, Washington didn’t blush. Weaker men probably would have. “I’m not surprised.” His gaze was lingering on Locus, and for a few heartbeats Felix wondered if the kiss had sheerly been a pity kiss.

But no, no way. Even with his amazing acting skills, Washington couldn’t possibly pity Felix. He had no fucking room to. His life was a mess and Felix’s life was cool as fuck, and Felix was better than him at everything and actually knew what the fuck was going on.

Washington picked up his glass and took a sip.

Locus wasn’t looking at him expectantly, just spooning out some food into a bowl, but Washington decided to review it anyway. “It’s tasty.”

Christ, he was very uncreative. Felix would bet quite a few bucks that Washington would panic if someone asked him to dirty talk. He stared meaningfully at Locus until he caught his eye, then tilted his head up for a heartbeat. Locus blinked then turned his attention back to Washington. “I am glad you like it.”

“So…” Wash started, face coloring with a gentle red. He took another sip, larger that time. “How is this actually going to work?”

“How do you want it to work?” Locus asked, because tactful conversations about relationships were notably out of Felix’s comfort zone.

“I don’t know.” 

Fucking unhelpful answer.

“I know you two are -- whatever it is you two are.”

Locus didn’t react, but Felix looked amused.

“I mean, I know I’m not going to be part of that.”

Good. At least he was clear on that, even if he seemed like a bleeding heart romantic. “You probably wouldn’t want to be, anyway.” Felix said, and the look Locus sent him would have been a disparaging shoulder shove from anyone else. Felix tilted his head away and finished off his beer, leaning back against the couch. 

“Felix and I are complicated.”

Felix didn’t want to fucking hear Locus talk about them, even if he was going to be lying about the details of their partnership. Pretty much every single detail.

“What is straightforward is that we are both interested in you.”

Washington looked pleased, so clearly Locus was pretty adept at sweet-talking. Felix vaguely wondered where the hell those skills were whenever it was the two of them. Even if he’d probably laugh in Locus’ face for employing them, knowing he’d made an effort would have been nice.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Felix be quiet for this long before.” Washington commented, eyeing Felix in the corner of his gaze.

Which was rude. And not true, because Felix had been quiet during the whole blow-up that had lead to Washington being isolated enough to brave Felix’s house in the first place. “Yeah, well.” It wasn’t an interesting conversation. Even if it was, not one Felix was good at. Sure, he could lie through his teeth to some pretty person at a pub to get into their pants, but that was a whole fake front. Out of long-term mission necessity, some of Felix’s persona around other students was actually him. Going directly to simpering sweetness would read untruthful. “I’m not huge into talking about my feelings.”

“That’s probably why your two’s relationship is so complicated.”

Most of Felix’s persona around other students was still totally fabricated, though, exemplified by him letting out a snort of amusement rather than the biting comment he wanted to say. Everyone was so goddamn touchy feely, which only made him seem stunted in comparison. That was hardly Felix’s fault. So despite his and Locus’ partnership being none of Washington’s fucking business, Felix just shrugged. “It works for us.”

“Does it?”

“Yes.” Locus was looking at Felix, and the way he maintained eye contact after catching Felix’s gaze was undoubtedly meant to convey something. Felix had no clue what, though.

“It would work for us better if you wanted in.” Only after he finished speaking did Felix move his gaze to Washington.

Wash turned over some thoughts in his head rather visibly.

Locus and Felix waited.

“I still don’t know what you two actually want from me, you know.”

“Does it have to have a syllabus?” Felix asked.

Locus opened his mouth to say something disapproving when Washington laughed, taking both Felix and Locus by mild surprise. Felix’s surprise immediately turned into satisfaction, and he smiled unrequitedly at Locus.

“No, I guess not. A starting place would be nice, though.”

That was something Felix could totally do. He took Washington’s drink from him and placed it on the table, moving in to catch him in a kiss. 

Washington started to lean into it but Felix placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back, back so he was pressed against Locus and Felix rested his other hand on the couch cushion, directly next to Washington’s hips.

He broke off the kiss to catch Locus’s lips instead, which was a touch of whiplash going from being the one entirely in control of the kiss to the one entirely not despite the fact that Locus wasn’t even touching him beyond that one point of contact.

“We still have food to eat.” Washington pointed out from under Felix, which effectively froze the kiss.

Dude may have Felix beat in ability to quickly kill a mood. “Microwaveable food.” Felix said, pulling back away slowly. Not that he was really wanting to turn around and start back up again.

Locus looked exasperated. Felix was unsure, for once, if it was because of him or not.

“To be honest, I would prefer to eat and talk and then go home to think things over. This is a weird proposition you’re giving me and I tend to not move fast with even a single person anyway.”

Well. Apparently everyone but Felix found the method of just stating things easier than skirting around them. “Alright.” Wasn’t like he really had a choice of saying anything else, did he? Washington was being squirrely and trying to pressure him through it wouldn’t end well.

Felix stood up to get more beer, and Washington picked up his drink again before looking questionably at Locus. As though Locus would verbalize any issue he had with Washington’s pace choices.

So they ate. And they talked. And Felix wanted to hop out of his skin because it was boring fucking small talk and there were awkward silences abound and Jesus Christ, he really didn’t care about Washington’s favorite superhero movie or why he’d never really gotten into football. 

By the time Washington did leave, Locus had been sending Felix enough glances to tip him off that he was worried Felix was going to lash out. 

Which was a valid worry, because Felix had been tempted to stab Washington then and there. Felix didn’t mind playing at a romantic type when he was stringing someone along, because that figuring out how best to hit someone’s weak spots and flex his acting and manipulation skills. It made even small talk interesting.

Small talk with Washington was not interesting.

Locus put away all the food and washed the dishes while he let Felix stew in annoyance. Felix would have started venting then and there, if there wasn’t the chance that Tucker would hear them from his bedroom.

So he waited until after Locus was done cleaning up, and then they retired to Felix’s bedroom where they should have ended up way sooner, and Felix tore off his shirt and threw it forcefully into his laundry bin. “He just fucking kissed me out of nowhere, and then he just pussied out out of nowhere as well! What the fuck?”

Of course, Locus was calm as ever. “He is in a strange state right now. Is it really surprising that he’s having some false starts?”

“No!” Absolutely not would Felix admit to not having seen something coming that Locus did. Therefore Felix had obviously expected that Washington would be a little flighty. He just found it frustrating anyway. “But it’s still -- ugh!” Felix was restless. Having to sit through a nice evening in with some idle chatter and Chinese food had been torture. “That was exhausting. This was meant to be fun. It is so not fun.”

Locus hummed. “Well?”

Felix bristled. “Well what?”

“Earlier.”

“Oh, right.” It seemed stupid as hell to say then. “I wanted to make a bet over whether Washington would flip if I asked him to dirty talk. Guess that’s going to be a moot point for the foreseeable future.”

“I will take that bet.”

Someone was very blatantly trying to pacify Felix. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“What counts as flipping out?”

“Refusing to dramatically, sputtering, or leaving entirely.”

“Fucking on.” Felix was going to win. Washington didn’t ‘move fast’ with people, he was totally going to be inexperienced as hell. Felix rocked back and forth on his feet. “If he ever gets back to us about whether he’s horny or not.” Christ. Maybe Felix really should have just sent Locus to reel Washington in on his own.

He would have been less bored and more murderous if it turned out that way. Worse for Locus, probably, but it sounded a hell of a lot better to Felix.

“Want a blowjob?” Locus asked.

“No!” Felix threw his hands in the air. “That’s what I’m reduced to. I am so fucking pissed about the sheer amount of brain rot I just sat through and am apparently destined to sit through again that I don’t even want to orgasm. I just want to --!” He curled his hands into fists and bit back a growl.

“Want to fight?”

“Yes.” Felix said, immediately. “Absolutely one hundred percent fuck yes.” He pulled off his jeans and slipped into sweatpants in a scramble. He hopped on the balls of his feet impatiently while Locus got changed. “C’mon, c’mon, let’s go.”

Locus ducked into the bathroom and Felix groaned. He came back out a few seconds later with a roll of athletic tape, but that was a few seconds delay too many. “Locus.”

“Need water?”

“No, for fuck’s sake. Let’s go!”

Really, Locus should have expected this when he offered up the idea of a fight when Felix was in his mood. Any common sense action would be disregarded as just something that was wasting time, so Locus resolved himself to Felix being thoughtless until he’d gotten the violence out of his system.

The walk was silent. Periodically the was the sound of Felix exhaling on his hands to warm them up, despite how slight the chill in the air was and the fact he tended to run hot enough it didn’t affect him enough to wear proper clothing. When they did finally get to that clearing a little hike away from campus, he caught the tape that Locus threw at him.

It was wrapped around his knuckles haphazardly and tossed back after Locus had pulled off his shirt, and then Felix was hopping and stretching while Locus wrapped his hands.

The roll was dropped next to the shirt. Felix perked up immediately. 

Locus moved into the clearing, and Felix followed quietly. “Can’t fight or unconscious?”

Bringing up the latter as an option betrayed what type of mood Felix was in more than all the impatient urging and restless moving had done. If Locus was feeling indulgent, he would have said unconscious. Or if he had thought that was going to be what it took to get Felix settled.

“Can’t fight.” He didn’t want to carry Felix back, and he doubted Felix’s ability to carry him back. One of them would catch something if they sat out all night.

Regardless of the sound reasoning, Felix prickled. “Fine.” 

He usually let Locus punch first. Felix liked reactionary fighting, where he didn’t swing around his weight and have faith in strength. Locus could get away with that because he was, in fact, huge and strong.

Felix was fast and slippery. He went for Locus legs first, dropping low to the ground and trying to hook a foot around the back of Locus’ knee.

Most opponents’ automatic reaction to a foot heading towards their leg was to jolt back, which is why Felix went to that move. The natural reaction would just make them trip that much harder.

They had the tragic disadvantage of not knowing Felix. When his foot came around, Locus stepped closer and aimed for Felix’s shoulder.

Felix was able to abort the movement and roll out of the way fast enough for Locus to miss, but not by much. He sprung back up a moment afterwards, arm up to knock away the follow up punch Locus threw. Felix’s other arm caught up, hand wrapped around Locus’ wrist to keep it out of the way, and he used the momentum to spin around along the outside of Locus’ arm and slam his elbow into the back of Locus’ head.

Black crept into the edges of Locus’ vision immediately. To get Felix off of him, his own elbow swung around behind him, making Felix break away to avoid getting hit.

The impact left his head dizzy. They both knew then that, barring a major stumble on his part, Felix was going to win.

Felix didn’t relax back into cockiness. He looked just as focused, so he clearly didn’t want to make that major stumble. Which wasn’t unusual, but not wanting to make it to the point where he wasn’t bragging about his speed or digging at Locus for being too easy to beat was unusual.

Locus lunged forward and then pretended a new wave of dizziness overtook him when he did, and Felix took the opportunity for the uncharacteristically bold move of straight up punching Locus in the face.

If Locus hadn’t been on guard for it, it probably would have left him on the ground. Also if Felix’s shirt hadn’t been long-sleeved, because Locus was able to fall back and grab onto it as Felix pulled away after he realized that Locus had been faking. His arm was too fast, but his loose shirt wasn’t.

Locus’ fingers closed around the fabric and yanked him close, bringing his knee up into Felix’s gut.

He got nails raked against his cheek in thanks, and had to let go and jolt back before the hand reached his throat. Locus watched as Felix pulled his shirt off, deciding not to attack in the process, and then watched as it was tossed in the opposite direction that Locus’ own shirt laid.

Some blood smeared on Felix’s stomach when he rested his fingertips over the forming bruise. Locus hadn’t realized the scratch had been enough to pull any. He felt the urge to touch his face, see the blood on his own hand, but ignored it. Just because he had given Felix the courtesy of not attacking while he was distracted didn’t mean that Felix would do the same for him. 

Still, he couldn’t feel the wetness on his skin. Only the faint sting.

He crept forward, eyes steady. Fighting by reaction didn’t suit him, but with all the emotional energy buzzing in Felix, it was the safer route to take. Felix wouldn’t have the patience to wait for Locus to strike first, and it was easier to block than it was to land.

Felix’s hand twitched. Locus wondered where the knife was on him. He’d watched him get changed earlier, but had been out of sight for a few seconds afterwards. It wouldn’t be shocking if Felix grabbed a combat knife and strapped it to his leg in that flash. 

He wouldn’t use it, that much Locus knew. It did mean, however, there was a place that a hit would not only be ineffective to land on, but would hurt Locus. Metal had much less give then skin.

Frustration gave in, as predicted. Felix went low again and that time Locus was simply able to jump out of the way, which left him immediately on edge. He moved on instinct, not sure what he was trying to dodge, and something flew by his head.

Felix tossed the other rock he’d picked up off the ground in the air, catching it with a smirk.

“Can’t fight, Felix.”

“You dodged it.”

So Felix had expected him to. Which meant it was more about showing that he had another rock, and was willing to use it. It was just going to be used to make Locus move.

Locus wondered if jumping so the rock hit him in his chest instead of dodging to the side would be enough to disrupt Felix’s plan. Undoubtedly not. The throw would serve primarily to just make him mobile and therefore less stable. If anything, jumping would make him even more vulnerable because he would have nothing on the ground to help him twist.

Felix threw the rock. Locus dodged to the side, and couldn’t avoid the heel that slammed into the back of his knee and then there was a hand on this throat pulling him backwards, and he was already dizzy from the hit to his head earlier so he couldn’t risk pushing against the hand and cutting off his air. Instead he went with it, ending up on his back before Felix swung around to descend on him.

Felix’s hands were on Locus’ wrists, panting lightly above him. “I win, bitch.” The bruise on his stomach was coloring up nicely. That would hurt for a good few weeks.

Locus tugged hard on both his wrists, which meant because Felix was smaller he had to shift his weight forward to keep them still so Locus gave himself the opportunity to slide one of his legs free before kneeing Felix’s distinctly swollen groin. 

Felix grunted but didn’t give, planting a foot between Locus’ legs and pushing up to give himself just enough air for his other foot to find Locus’ knee before coming back down. 

Locus’ choice was either to let it get pinned or have a broken knee.

Locus’ leg got both securely pinned down and probably a nasty bruise, as well.

Felix twisted his arm around back until Locus’ shoulder was pushed out at an uncomfortable angle that took away a lot of his leverage. He grit his teeth, and Felix twisted more. Locus felt the strain in his shoulder socket.

He opened his mouth to concede but the second he did Felix kissed him instead, keep him in place and unable to do anything but accept the kiss. Another small movement and a dull popping sound, and Locus felt pain flare from his then-dislocated shoulder. He pushed down a hiss in reaction, only letting out a rush of air through his nose. He bit down on Felix’s lip, pulling blood immediately, and Felix drew back.

He let go of Locus but remained looming over him, droplets of blood dripping from his chin onto Locus’ chest. “Do you care?”

Locus’ gaze remained even, unblinking while staring up at him.

“Make a sound. Do something.” Felix had won, and he’d hurt Locus anyway. Locus’ shoulder hadn’t been popped back into place yet and Locus still didn’t even look annoyed. 

The silence was heavy. Locus didn’t know what Felix wanted from him, and Felix didn’t want to say anything else until he got it.

After a while though he gave up and stood, pulling the tape from his hands.

Locus brought up his hand to his shoulder, shoving it back into place with a crunching sound. The pain lessened, but the confusion about it remained strong.

If he asked, Felix would start screaming at him. There was very little he hated more than when he felt that Locus wasn’t getting him, and he was still on edge. The fight had settled him, gotten rid of the undirected energy, but Felix wasn’t stable.

He rarely seemed to be, recently. Locus had gotten withdrawn, and Felix had gotten… messy, more than anything. 

Felix’s throat was dry. It dimly occurred to him that they should have brought some water. His glare at Locus intensified.

Locus could pick on the signals. Felix wanted him to either way the right thing or leave, and Locus had no idea what the thing Felix wanted him to say was. So he walked over to where he’d dropped his shirt on the ground, picked it up, and put it on. He considered saying something like _Contact me if the Chairman calls._ or _Do you want me to text you if Washington says anything?_ but they’d both just be filler. Felix already knew to tell Locus if the Chairman deigned to speak to them, and Locus already knew Felix would want to be kept updated on Washington.

So there was nothing to say. After bending down to get the athletic tape Locus pulled his gaze away from Felix and went back to his apartment, the walk there feeling shorter than it was, and stayed silent so as to not wake up Doyle or Grey while he got some ice packs from the freezer and retired to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i return... with more of my unhealthy boys


	4. Diseased Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is stubborn: the chapter.

“Dude, what the fuck happened to you?”

Felix had heard the door open, but hadn’t had time to do anything about it. His clothes were all tidied away and he was in the middle of his room wearing nothing but a towel. The dark bruise over his stomach was stark and unhidden. Felix couldn’t say ‘Actually, Locus did that’ because the chance of Tucker freaking out and calling the cops or something wasn’t as small as he would have liked, so instead Felix snorted. “Yeah, you’re only getting that story if I’m crossfaded. Don’t trust you with that shit.” 

It immediately calmed down Tucker, who was clearly imaging many comedic scenarios that could have lead to the injury. “Or the next party. Never know when another truth or dare game will rear its ugly head.”

“You’ll never get to choose dare again, you know. Not after South imparted that magical idea on us.”

Tucker crossed his arms. “I thought we had a no repeats rule.”

“That’s intra-game only.”

“Wow, look at you with the fancy prefixes. I guess you really did start going to class more.” 

Felix pouted. “My grades were slipping.”

“So much for those lip injections paying off.”

“Mine are all natural, baby.” Felix winked. “What, you weren’t able to tell when they were wrapped around your micro?” 

“Wow. Flashbacks.”

“Right?” 

“Yeah.”

The wonderful effects of drugs, dry spells, and a solid sex scene in a shitty movie. Sometimes you just had to fuck your roommate. It wouldn’t have happened if Locus wasn’t so --

Well. Forget Locus, anyway. He hadn’t even texted Felix since their brawl.

“So why are you in my room?”

“Oh right, Wash is here.”

“He’s what?”

“Here. Like, in the living room.” Tucker turned around and waved at him. 

Felix couldn’t see if Washington waved back, given the wall in the way. He pulled his hand down his face. “Thanks for the heads up. I look like a wreck.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” Tucker said, but Felix brushed past him near the end and stuck his head out the door.

Washington was standing awkwardly. He gave an uncertain wave.

Felix grit his teeth. “Yeah, super naked right now, be out soon.” He ducked back in and glared at Tucker. “Shoo.”

“What, it’s not like you have anything that everyone hasn’t seen already--”

“Tucker, shoo!” Christ, Tucker was being extra annoying. Felix wasn’t going to be embarrassed about being a slut just because it was mentioned in front of Washington. Washington had seen plenty of Felix picking people up first hand. He knew what he was getting into.

Tucker slipped his hands into his pockets and shrugged theatrically. “Whatever.” He turned and plodded out, satisfied with his annoyance level.

Felix kicked the door close behind him and threw on whatever was easiest. He figured if Washington was standing, it was likely a drop by visit, and he shouldn't keep him waiting for the time it took for Felix to put all his piercings back in. So Felix just slipped out, hair unstyled and skin un-metaled and outfit un-stylish.

Washington was a little thrown off when Felix got close, like he’d never really pictured Felix without all the adornments. “Uh.”

Felix scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m short.”

“Actually, yeah. How --”

“People tend to notice when I don’t have some extra inches of presence via devastatingly crafted good looks, I guess. It’s a theme.”

“Ah.”

Felix dropped his hand but held Washington’s gaze.

“So?” There was an actual reason Washington came to visit, right?

“Locus has been brooding.” 

“Locus is always brooding.” They’d hung out since the last time? Without Felix? Without even fucking telling Felix?

“Yeah, but he’s brooding in class now.”

Oh. Nevermind. Of course Locus wouldn’t not tell Felix if Washington reached out -- that was professional, the cold shoulders were personal. He was good at compartmentalizing. Had been for a while. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I know everyone views him as your keeper but from what I’ve picked up you’re at least a little bit his keeper too, so -- fix it, I guess.”

“Why don’t you?”

The way Washington’s eyes widened while he drew his head back was comical. “What?”

“He’s into you. You’re good with -- ” Felix gestured unhelpfully. “Emotions and communication and stuff. This seems up your alley.”

“But I didn’t upset him.”

Fucking astute observation, and Felix couldn’t snap because they had a job to do with Washington. An important one. An _expensive_ one. “He’s not upset. He’s brooding.”

“There’s a difference?”

There was once you’d known the asshole for a decade, yeah. A big difference. “His feelings aren’t hurt, he’s just unsure what to do.”

Washington’s eyes skated along the air. “Is that because of me?”

“Yeah, partly.” Locus absolutely knew what to do in relation to Washington. Don’t press too hard, but don’t play hard to get. Make him know he’s wanted. He wasn’t the sure-fire for seduction jobs that Felix was, but he could hold his own.

“Oh.”

Felix sighed. “Look, neither of us want to pressure you into anything. That’d be gross as hell. We’re not unicorn hunting or some shit, he just likes you and I don’t _dislike_ you. Don’t flip out just because Locus is acting weird. It’s an us thing, mostly.” If he could take a stab wound rather than say all this, he would. “Like Locus said, we’re complicated. Sometimes it means he broods.”

“But it works for you two.” Washington recalled, voice and expression both thoroughly unconvinced. 

“It does. This may be a shock, but all interpersonal relationships involve some brooding from time to time.” 

“But don’t you want to help with it?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not!”

The bristle that Felix gave was half genuine, half forced. He was bristling for reasons other than what Washington would assume. “Because he’s brooding until I sort out my own feelings and I haven’t finished doing that yet!” He shouldn’t yell, except he totally should because it read like a brief outburst of vulnerability that was quelled quickly. Felix knew what he was feeling, and Locus was brooding because he couldn’t figure it out as well. 

Silence hung in the air respectfully, like Washington was giving the shout some breathing room before he started poking at it analytically. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Washington looked unimpressed. 

“I’m not doing some lone wolf bit here. I can work this out on my own fine, I just need time. Then I’ll go talk to Locus about it, and things will be fine. I’m not avoiding anything, I’m processing things.” God help Felix if Washington pressed on finding out what he needed to process. He did not have a believable lie pre-readied. “In the meantime, I think he could use some distraction. Even if it’s a completely platonic hanging out capacity.” There. Perfect performance. Washington should give Felix his damn Oscar then sprint out the door.

“I’m not sure this is the best time for me to interject myself.”

“It’s not interjecting if you’re invited.”

“I’m just saying. If you two are having issues I don’t want to make them worse.”

“We’re not having issues.” Felix couldn’t keep the defensive tone fully out of his voice. “We’re just dealing with life together.” God, that was way too cheesy. That was going to make Washington suspicious. 

He did send Felix a scrutinizing look, but ultimately relaxed down. “Okay. I’ll see if I can catch him after next class.”

“Cool.”

“Felix?”

“Yeah.”

Washington at least pretended to understand. “Okay. Cool.” Then he turned and left.

Felix dragged a hand over his face, trundling back to his bedroom to get out his phone. He opened up his conversation with Locus.

**You: state is on his way for a date**

**Ugly Boy 2: When did you see him?**

**You: just now. he was worried about you. too much bruce wayne, not enough batman**

**Ugly Boy 2: I haven’t been brooding enough for that.**

**You: that was the exact word he used actually**

**Ugly Boy 2: Do you want to join?**

**You: no i told him i was goin thru some shit and thats why you were sobbing urself to sleep each night**

**Ugly Boy 2: ?**

**You: idk man i just said some cheesy shit and promised him we’d talk**

**Ugly Boy 2: Do you want to talk?**

**You: do you have anything useful to say**

**Ugly Boy 2: You owe a dollar to the rhyme jar.**

**You: rent payers call it or it didnt happen**   
**You: besides these texts never happened anyway**

**Ugly Boy 2: I’ll come over tomorrow night.**

**You: yea alright**

They’d just move past it, like they’d just moved past a lot of fucking shit the past few years. No need to dwell on anything challenging or annoying. Felix selected all the text messages except the last two and then deleted them permanently, rubbing his eye. Whatever. He didn’t miss Locus but it might stop Tucker’s pestering if Locus appeared to take of the role of unnecessary forced parental figure in his life.

Summoned by annoyance, Tucker poked his head into the room. “You and creep aren’t talking?”

Great. Wonderful. Awesome. If Felix had been marginally less perfect, he probably would have killed everyone at the school months ago. “We’re not not talking. He’s coming over tomorrow.” Not that Felix should have to explain that. 

“Oh, because you’ve finished ‘processing your emotions’ by then?” Tucker’s fingers air quoted to hammer in the point, like the sarcastic tone wasn’t doing enough.

Felix made a noncommittal sound. Fucking eavesdropper. 

Tucker crossed his arms. He looked like he wanted to say something. “You know, I don’t pretend I’m in it for anything but the sex.”

It really wasn’t worth it to defend himself. Tucker had seen Felix’s song and dance enough times to know he made people fall heads over heels before dropping them. There’d be no reason to argue that he wasn’t doing that to Washington, except that it usually didn’t annoy Tucker. If Tucker felt like fucking it all up, he could. It didn’t sit right with Felix that this might turn into Tucker feeling like doing just that. “You heard what I told him. I said I didn’t dislike him.”

“You said that creep likes him.”

“What makes you think he doesn’t?”

“I think you’re literally the only person in the fucking world that he likes, and you make him homoicdal.” 

Well. That was nice. Felix almost actually felt endeared. “I’ve noticed. He is interested in Washington, though.”

That clearly didn’t have the desired effect, because Tucker’s mouth flattened more. “You’ve been interested in all your side pieces. Clearly, for the two of you, that doesn’t mean shit.”

Someone was starting to seriously overstep, even in the context of Felix’s little fake friendship with him. “Fuck you.” Considering they were in Felix’s bedroom, there were hundreds of ways he could kill Tucker right then. Thousands, more likely. Felix’s fingers drummed on his thigh. “Why do you care? You haven’t fallen in love with me, right?”

Tucker scowled. “Wash is a friend.”

“He’s a fucking excel.”

“So’s York!”

“So?”

“York’s a friend!”

For fuck’s sake. York was a party host and more tolerable than most of the other excel lab rats. Tucker assuming that Felix considered him a friend was hilarious. “We’re meant to be friends too, you know.”

“Friends call out friends for doing shitty bullshit. You’re doing shitty bullshit. More important, you’re doing shitty bullshit that’s gonna hit a lot of people with shrapnel when it blows up on you.”

Felix’s fingers drummed again. “So I should just text him ‘hey takesiebacksies, go suffer with all the people who hate you right now?’ and call it a day?”

“Maybe just stop fucking hounding him.”

Felix blinked. “You do realize he showed up here today, right? And I told him I didn’t like him?”

“Yeah.” Tucker leaned against the side of the doorway. “And I’ve seen you use this script before.”

Had he? Shit. Felix had toyed with so many people the past year to stave off boredom, he’d forgotten what Tucker had and hadn’t seen. Keeping track of that shit was usually useless. 

“And don’t try to play that bullshit about just wanting Locus to fulfilled or whatever, either.”

“Fuck you.” It was harder that time. Felix’s nails dug into the fabric of his pants when he drummed them. He wanted to spit that Tucker didn’t understand a single godforsaken thing about what Felix did or didn’t want for Locus, but Tucker thinking he did was good for selling the fucking cover. This was why Felix hated long-term undercover work. People thinking they could understand him, even a cardboard cut out of him, drove him up the wall. He didn’t want to talk to Locus, he wanted another fight. He nails pushed in harder. “It is about Locus.”

Tucker’s voice raised. “I already said--”

“The bruise.” Felix interrupted, calmer. Short term he just needed Tucker’s attention off cockblocking him with Wash, and if that meant cockblocking him with Locus it’d be a lot easier to overcome.

“Felix.”

Felix crossed his arms. “Not like that.”

“I’m gonna need some fucking more explanation then, shithead.” 

Hm. Yeah. That was a him problem. Except that it was being made into a Felix problem, because if Felix didn’t cough up a reason Tucker might go from cockblocking to stalking in order to record proof of abuse, or whatever. Felix cranked his bullshit generator up to level ten and let words come out of his mouth. The bruise was on his chest. “We got into a fucking fight. I was pissed, so I went out. Some idiot bothered me at the bar. The rest is history.”

Tucker’s eyebrows shot up. “Woah, what the fuck? You got into a bar fight? You won a bar fight?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Felix scratched the back of his head in a very genuine gesture of the modesty he pretended to feel. “We’ve just been prickly, okay?”

“You’ve been seeming more touchy than usual.” Tucker commented. Which -- fuck, they had, Felix hadn’t thought about that. “Should have pegged you two as the compensation types.”

Yeah, sure, that worked. Whatever. “I think we just need some stupid calming presence or at least something else to focus attention are. And for the record, I fucking hate you for making me talk about this shit.” Which was true, and real bite came through Felix’s voice.

“That’s still using Wash, you know.”

Jesus Christ. Tucker did not go in this hard for friends, usually. “Well he’s using us as a distraction from the excel kids, as well as a literal shelter from them. And I use you for transportation to the pizza place. I use Locus for money. I use my lack of gag reflex for better grades. What’s your point?”

“Ew.” Like Tucker wasn’t already aware of that last fact. “That stuff’s different. You like me and Locus and better grades.”

“Not different than Wash using me and Lo for an escape. He doesn’t like us either, you know. He’s just interested.” Same as them.

“He’s expecting more.”

“Is he?”

“Obviously?”

“What, just ‘cause he doesn’t sleep around? Like if someone’s not slutty enough they’re not able to understand clearly verbalized boundaries?”

“There was a lot of romantic implications in what you said.”

There sure was. That had been the point. Tucker hearing all of them and picking up on them too hadn’t been the point at all, though. “Sorry for not being perfect at phrasing when I’m in a weird fucking mindstate. I’ll clarify later that I have no idea at all whatsoever whether things will turn -- whatever.”

“Romantic.”

Not being able to bring himself to say it was not going to help matters. But it felt like acid on his tongue. Instead, he willed blood to his cheeks and forced a mild blush to change the tone of the refusal. “Whatever.”

“You’re not fooling me with this shit. I’ve seen you run this on too many people before.”

“Whatever!” Felix threw his hands up, although kept putting in effort to the fake flush. “Unless Wash asks you for your opinion, it’s not really any of your business anyway. So why don’t you back off and go play knight in shining armor with a different person instead?” He had been very close to saying ‘a different dumb blond’ there. Thankfully, he was able to correct it before even a stutter implied second thoughts.

“If he asks me, I’m telling him exactly what I think.”

“Duly noted. I’ll remind him of the opportunity to get dirt on me through you.”

“Don’t pretend this is a betrayal. You’re acting like a girl.”

Felix stuck out his tongue. “I’m acting like a god damn lady, Tucker, so you better get out of my bedroom before I insist we marry.”

Once Tucker’s hands were raised in surrender and he was out the door, Felix flopped back onto his bed. He stayed there, and he didn’t move for classes the next day and revelled in the knowledge that Locus would be annoyed that Felix was already breaking his promise to attend class more. He only got around to showering in the evening, because Locus was an idiot and a loser but that didn’t mean Felix wanted to risk smelling bad around him. Locus would bring it up at the most annoying time.

The mirror was fogged and Felix’s skin was red. He wiped a streaked but transparent gap into the steam buildup, and blinked in the mirror. For a bastardly moment, he wondered if he was being unfair. Then pushed his dripping fringe off his forehead and harrumphed, stalking out of the bathroom. He pulled on suitably un-sexy clothes, which was difficult because Felix oozed sex appeal regardless of what he was wearing, but not going out of his way to dress fuckably when he knew he was going to be seeing Locus would send the message that he was still annoyed.

Felix grabbed a packet of cigarettes and a lighter after he slipped a knife into its halter on his calf then headed to the balcony. 

He was halfway through his second cigarette when he heard the door open. Smoke trailed from Felix’s lips. He breathed in, feeling it push the nicotine all the way into his lungs, and then blew out a long breath. “If you were gonna die tomorrow, what would you wanna do tonight?”

To his credit, Locus’ sigh barely sounded exasperated at all. “Sort this out with you.”

“Lame answer.”

“Felix.” Locus said his name warningly. 

Felix ducked his head before standing up straight, forearms lifting off the railing of the balcony. “Yeah.”

“What happened?”

Felix held out his cigarette to Locus. Locus accepted it without pausing, bringing it up to his lips and taking a drag. It meant he wasn’t able to interrupt, at least for a few seconds, which is why Felix had offered. “Just got frustrated. You know what this type of undercover work does to me.”

It had been more than that. Felix got those feelings out through winning fights, or explaining all the ways he’d been imagining of killing everyone, or rough sex. He’d never hurt Locus for the sole purpose of hurting Locus before, whether he was frustrated over people or not. Locus didn’t point this out. He handed the cigarette back.

“I won’t do it again.”

“I know.”

“Then it’s fine.” Felix leaned over again, back to bracing himself against the railing. 

Locus swept his gaze over the campus. He waited until Felix had smoked the cigarette down to its stump and tossed it out into the world, then turned and walked back inside the townhouse. A few minutes later, Felix followed him in.

“It’s fine if--”

Felix cut Locus a glare that made him fall into a confused silence. Felix just gestured to his room, brushing past Locus and closing the door once they were both in. “Tucker’s been giving me a lot of shit. Don’t need him having any more ammunition.” 

“It is fine if you’re jealous.”

“I’m not fucking jealous.”

“You are.”

“Then why’d you say ‘if’?” Felix fell down onto the bed.

“Then what was it?”

Felix’s hand went to his hair, ruffling it with annoyance. His fingers got damp. He let out a groan. “Work it out yourself.”

“That is not a productive response.”

“Fuck you.”

“Felix.”

Felix’s hand groped around until it found a pillow, and then he chucked it at Locus. 

Locus kindly didn’t grab it out of the air or dodge out of the way, but instead let it hit him in the chest before landing on the ground with a pathetic poof.

It made Felix feel better, even though he knew that had been the point. “I’m not kidding. Work it out yourself.”

A silence followed. Felix’s chest rose and fell, and he didn’t look to see Locus thinking. He knew what Locus thinking looked like, and he knew which type of thinking he was doing right then, and he knew there was a scowl involved. There was contempt involved. Felix didn’t mind it when Locus’ gaze had hatred in it, but contempt was a different matter.

It would be there, he knew. Even if Locus had just acquiesced his bratty bullshit.

“I’m not a robot.”

He could have fooled Felix. But at least Locus had started to work out the right path. It meant he was actually putting some effort into anything beyond merely tolerating Felix. Still, Felix didn’t reply. A lack of correction was a corroboration. 

“My shoulder still stings.”

It wouldn’t. Once you got a joint relocated, the pain faded pretty quickly. It certainly wouldn’t last more than one day, and even more so it wouldn’t be strong enough for Locus to bother complaining about it. The olive branch was so blatant Felix almost got offended by it. “Take a hot shower.”

“I take room temperature showers.”

“You don’t when we shower together.”

“So let’s.”

Felix snorted. “I hate you.”

“I am aware.” But there was the sound of footsteps, and then Locus’ hand settled on his stomach before pushing its way up his chest slowly. The hand stopped between his collarbones. 

Felix shifted. The hand shifted with him. “I already took a shower today.”

“So did I.”

“I’m not sucking your dick in there.”

“Acceptable.”

Really a romancer. Felix pushed the hand off his chest, sitting up. “What if I do it again?”

“You said you wouldn’t.”

“Do you trust that?”

Locus leaned back in his stance, gaze floating downwards contemplatively. “Yes.” He said, eyes returning to Felix’s.

“You shouldn’t.”

“I do.”

“You shouldn’t.”

Locus didn’t respond. He was not a fan of repeating himself, nor circular arguments. 

Felix stood up, sliding a hand into Locus’ hair. “Not dislocating your shoulder still leaves me with a lot of other options.”

“Why?”

That made Felix bare his teeth. “Figure it out.”

“I did. You want a reaction out of me. I just don’t know for what purpose.”

“Maybe you’ll have an epiphany in the shower.” Felix started to walk away but got his arm locked in a grip that spun him around and shoved him against the wall. He was able to gain his footing enough the hit didn’t make a loud sound, or Tucker might come knocking, and he glared. “What the fuck?”

He had more to say, but it got muffled against Locus’ mouth and then promptly given up on. Felix’s hands stayed from where he’d braced them against the wall even as Locus’ hand came to cup the nape of his neck.

Locus pressed in close. 

Felix made no move to push him away.

“You are infuriating.” It was growled against Felix’s mouth, and as much as Felix really was still in a shunning mood a pavlovian response still had his fingers wrapping around Locus’ shoulder before he could stop them.

“Do you hate me?” The sentence was chopped up between slashes of Locus’ lips, which were much less interested in what Felix was saying than they ought to be.

However, the answer was immediate. “Yes.” 

Felix’s other hand came to Locus’ body, nails digging into his hip. “Say it.”

“No.”

“Fuck you. Say it.”

“Leave the past where it is, Felix.”

Both hands, as it turned out, were in useful places if he wanted to shove Locus away as roughly as possible. Evenly distributed force, Locus had to take a step back. Which was good for a multitude of reasons, one of the main ones being that it was easier to think when not breathing the same air as him.

“You said you wanted to sort this out.”

“That is not how to go about it.”

“How the hell would you know.” It was a grumble, not a question, and it got no response. Felix hadn’t expected it to. “Neither is ignoring it and just fucking.”

“I was not going to ignore it.”

“Liar.” He wasn’t. If he said ignoring wasn’t part of his plan, then it hadn’t been. Felix knew that. “Fucking doesn’t count as dealing with it.”

“You get more talkative after sex.”

“Oh, do I?” Felix knew that! He also knew that was not the only reason Locus had come out boner-a-blazing. “Get out.”

Locus crossed his arms.

“Are you deaf? Fuck off.”

Locus didn’t move.

Felix seethed. “What, do you have a plan C to attempt? It’s not gonna work.”

“We don’t have to use Wash’s crush as an in.”

“I fucking know that, dickhead. I was the one who suggested it.”

“Then why do you hate it so much?”

Good question! Felix balled his hands into fists. “He’s so boring. He’s so, so goddamn boring. And apparently Tucker has a crush on him or whatever so he’s being a huge bitch about this, and every single person has taken the opportunity that us going after him has magically opened up to pretend they understand a single fucking thing about us, and you’ve been loving every second of it!” Okay, so maybe if that had been Locus’ plan C it had kind of worked.

“Ah.” 

It was said with so much realization and hindsight understanding that Felix wanted to gut him. “Shut the fuck up.” He wanted to gut himself, actually. No, actually actually he wanted to gut the school. And the chairman. And a puppy for good measure.

“I find Washington’s small talk trying as well.”

“No you don’t.” Felix kicked at the ground. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

That shouldn’t have been enough for Felix’s muscles to de-tense as much as they did, but it was. “Yeah, well, you haven’t been suffering under everyone’s ill-informed insights.” Felix should make an alliteration jar too. More pizza runs.

“Washington talked to me today after class.”

Felix perked up a little.

“He had quite a lot to say about the two of us.”

“God. I had to feed him so much bullshit yesterday. That must have been fucking unbearable.”

“Unfortunately, you are correct.”

“I refuse to take responsibility for that. He’s the one going around pretending to be Freud.”

“He is.”

And he must have really pissed Locus off with it, if he was agreeing that simply for Felix to be acquitted of guilt. “Does your shoulder seriously still sting?”

“You and Tucker should add an alliteration jar.”

Jackass. “I’ll think about it.”

“It does.”

“What, for real?”

“Not much, but that shoulder has been sensitive for a while.”

“Oh, right.” Bullet wound there. Felix had forgotten about that. “Guess you really should take a hot shower, then.”

“That sounds like an invitation.”

“Yeah, sure, why the fuck not.” 

It was easy.

Carefully working his fingers against the old injury under the warm spray was familiar, so it was easy. So was leaning into it when Locus’ hand rested on his hip, followed by feeling it glide up his body to his hair while Felix sank to his knees.

Toweling off was easy, being pushed down onto the bed was easy, getting ridden for an hour and a half was certainly easy. It all wasn’t talking, because the only fuse shorter than Felix’s patience for small talk was his patience for dumb serious talk about shit that was better left unsaid. He already knew all he needed to.

He knew that tomorrow Tucker was going to give him a thumbs up for making up with Locus, and he knew Tucker was going to start being a thorn while Wash was over. He knew both of them were going to keep psychoanalyzing their both extremely limited and mostly-false glimpses into the inner workings of Felix and Locus. He knew Church was eventually going to start sending knowing looks but thankfully not say anything -- at least, probably, based on what Felix knew of the guy. He didn’t seem like he liked getting involved in other people’s business if he could avoid it. 

Locus draped an arm over his chest. Felix wiggled closer to him to leech body heat. He knew Locus would be there when he woke up. And Locus would get annoyed at him within a few hours of Felix waking up. 

He knew that at the end of this whole job, they were going to be so fucking rich even Felix would have a hard time figuring out what to do with it all of it. And they were never going to see any of the brats again, and they’d hook up on piles of cash, and Locus would still get annoyed at him within a few hours of Felix waking up every day.

So it was all going to be worth it. Even if he was currently laying on a cheap mattress in a tiny apartment, a mansion with luxury bed stuff to the highest degree was in his future.

He patted Locus’ face. Locus let out a snort of amusement. 

“We should try meth.”

“We are not doing that.”

Felix grinned. “There’s a drug version of that chemical your brain releases when you dream. Someone I know dreamed up like, a whole entire life during a thirty minute high. Still remembers a lot of it.”

“Go to sleep, Felix.”

“Say it.”

“Just go to sleep, Isaac.”

Felix let his eyes fall shut. “You’re a bitch.”

He felt Locus nod patronizingly, and fell asleep right afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter today because you're not my real dad

**Author's Note:**

> i really just tried to shove like 3 or 4 separate points in the RVB timeline together into one only to base an AU loosely off it, didn't i? amazing. groundbreaking. extraordinary. i love felix and locus with all my heart and soul


End file.
